


Forbidden Garden (A Twilight Fan Fiction)

by Jasper (TheyCalledHerCarrie)



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, twilight book one
Genre: Angst, Bellastrugglestopickaboyfriend, Bisexual Female Character, Danger, Darkness, Death, Desire, Entertainment, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Hate, Immortality, Irony, Love, Love Triangles, Maturethemes, Multi, Other, Romance, Sadness, Sarcasm, TRIGGERWARNINGS, awareness, life - Freeform, stephaniemeyer, twilight - Freeform, twilight saga - Freeform, twilightsaga, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-04-24 11:30:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14354562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyCalledHerCarrie/pseuds/Jasper
Summary: Twilight: The Twilight SagaBook One: Forbidden GardenWhat they could have thought happened would never have amounted to the insanity that became the life of this Coven. All because they met a couple of humans who would turn their traditions and their lifestyle completely upside down.This wasn't just a forbidden apple on one, very forbidden tree.This was a whole damn garden.And this was only the beginning of it all, before a bite had even been taken of this luscious, and dangerous temptation.





	1. Book One: Forbidden Garden

**Author's Note:**

> This series will follow along with a mixture of what you know from the films, and what you know from the movies. 
> 
> Thank you, to all of you who read. I hope you enjoy this as the series progresses. Feel free to leave a comment (I'd welcome it, actually!!), favorite, share it, whatever you please. It's been a while since I tried to write again, so what better to take a plunge with than this intricate little telling?
> 
> Much love, J.

****

**Of about three things was Bella absolutely positive.**  
  
**First, Edward was a vampire.**  
  
**Second, there was a part of him, and she didn't know how potent that part might be, that thirsted for her blood.**

**And third, that she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.**

**As with many things, good and bad, there's a superstition that they would come in threes. So,  of three things, Jael Abernathy was utterly sure of.**

**First, her sister was dead, and her family was falling apart.**

**Second, she was going to walk again.**

**And Third, that there had to be something to give her hope in rainy little Forks.**

**Jasper never thought, with all his struggles, that he would become a reason for anyone to hope. Especially when such hope had been lost to him for much of his life. Alice had been his only spur of faith for a long time, and he was indebted to her, his very best friend, for giving that and her companionship to him. For offering her hand, and the feeling of something so simple and wholesome. Hope.**

**Jasper still struggles, after all these years, with his new lifestyle of his not so new existence. He was careful, he was quiet, few thought him anything more than intense and moody. He hadn't meant to even say more than a couple words to Jael, out of courtesy more than anything. She was unavoidable, she was in his classes, deeply involved with Carlisle. Once Edward had opened up the floodgates by welcoming Bella into his life, Alice had brought her in closer than she had ever been with the strange, all knowing kind of affection she was known for.**  
  
**He wouldn't know this, but soon, he would find himself breaking a lot of his own rules.**  
  
**Of three things, he and his entire family were sure of, while being utterly in the dark about so much more.**

**This was dangerous.**

**They were in over their heads.**

**They would do it anyways.**

* * *

_Credit to: Stephanie Meyer for the Twilight Saga  
Cover Art is done by myself, including a recreation of the art of the original Twilight book, of which I can take no credit for._

_DISCLAIMER: I own nothing to do with the Twilight Saga book series or movies, or any other affiliated merchandise. All I really own is my character and the content I create for this work of fiction for your reading pleasure._

_-J_


	2. The Doctor Will See You Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jael meets Dr. Cullen, and kicks off her first day not so well... maybe.

       

         

        There had to be a point where Jael would put her foot down. Figuratively, anyways. You might think that having a parent that's a doctor would make life easier, but that wasn't the way she saw it. Her father was, in short, a great doctor, but overlap that with the role of terrible father figure? It was a disaster. He was a hovering, overbearing mess, and yet, he never seemed to do her much good. He was bad at holding his emotions together, but also weird about expressing them. He was always disheveled and disorganized, and he didn't sleep enough for his own good. Jael knew, because she was usually up herself, though at least she wasn't eating lucky charms at two AM because she hadn't eaten anything yet, nor gone to sleep. She couldn't put up with the stress anymore, couldn't deal with doing all her sessions with her own dad, seeing how difficult this was on them both while they fumbled through the right things to do, so she'd begged for him to just let her have a different doctor. Once they'd moved to Forks, and all the funerary things had been taken care of, the old car sold and all their things packed, he'd pretty much relented and given Jael the space she asked for. Now that this had happened, she saw much less of him. It was better that way, it saved them from too many awkward conversations. They seemed to either never get passed the small talk, or they argued. Like cats and dogs, as people might say.  
  
        It was no different with her mother. Her mother was a creative type, but while that should have been a point of common interest, it wasn't. Her work as a writer kept her away from home a lot, and seeing as she wasn't any Stephen King prodigal type, she had to spend most of her time struggling to produce her next book and pray that she could make enough sales to make it worth it. Jael isn't sure why she ever had kids, she wasn't an overly warm woman, though she'd tried very hard to use her taste in vanity related things as a way to bond with her daughters. Eventually, it just became a coping mechanism to create even a bare minimum of conversation. You could bet that whenever Jael and her mother fought, that she would end up with some expensive bag, or shoes, or a coat that the would never wear showing up for her on the barely used dining table with a note in messy scrawl. While Jael and her sister, Elisiah, had been very opposite people, they took care of each other. Her mother didn't know how to Mother, and her father tried but had a hard time even caring for himself.  
  
        But they'd kind of always been that way, Jael and her parents. It just sort of began to escalate over the last few years. She was also fine with this. But the other few doctors in Fork's tiny hospital sort of went through the motions now. It had been about a year since the accident had happened that left Jael in the chair she currently occupied, and she made little improvements in her strength, but still never enough to her liking. After all, it took a long time to heal from the damage that her body had taken. Still, no one had any hope that she could walk, not after she'd refractured one of the previously shattered vertebrae, and not when her muscles sometimes fought to function at the rate they'd used to. It was so damn frustrating, being a not so mediocre athlete, and now being restrained to a wheel chair. She'd refused the motorized ones. God, she hated those. They were hard to control, and clunky, and it made her restless to sit in one she couldn't just push herself in.  
  
        Jael had more or less accepted that no one else had any hope. She still had some. Some, but it was fading rather quickly. The pain and the disappointment wasn't new to her by now.  
  
        "Miss Abernathy, Dr. Cullen will see you now."  
  
        Shoving at a few of the baby-haired, wispy curls that tickled her forehead, Jael tucked her bangs away behind her right ear before her hands dropped to the slim railing on the outside of her wheels, pushing herself away from the place she'd been occupying and coasting up to the counter. It was always "Miss Abernathy" because no one could ever seem to get her name right. Jael: It threw people off. As if the weird, Scottish/British last name was any easier on the tongue.  
  
        "Dr. Cull'n," Her brows drew together, casting a few lines in her forehead. "Is 'e new?"  
         
        "He is." The nurse behind the desk beamed a little, the apple's of her cheeks tinging pink. "He just moved here with his family a few weeks ago, so he's been settling in and now he's ready to take patients. It seems he was happy to take you on."  
         
        The redhead wasn't entirely sure how she felt about having a new doctor, because she didn't want to go through the same explanations and speeches she always did. But she didn't want to bust anyone's chops or anything, so she merely nodded and let the nurse tell her which room to wait in. The halls were empty. Not all too surprising. The hospital had people come in and out, sure, but the population in Forks was small, and so were accidents in the sleepy town. It was easier to navigate this way, with less foot traffic around, but she would have preferred a little more noise.  
         
        Jael hate hospitals with a certain level of hostility. And they made her anxious.  
         
        The thin, white tissue crackled under her bottom as she hoisted herself out of the chair and up onto the stiffly cushioned patient bed, idly scrunching the toes on her left foot inside her black ballet flat. She could still sort of flex them, a little, on a good day. From the waist down otherwise, nothing. The room smelled sterile. No surprise, that's what they always smelled like, but there was just something about it that always struck her as particularly unpleasant, every time she came back in. That was more often than she liked, whether it was to bring her father a lunch he continued to forget, or for appointments she needed.  
         
         The man who came into her room seemed shockingly young, but he was, in fact, wearing a doctor's coat and not a nurse's uniform. He was very blond, very tall, and very pale. His face managed to be soft and angular at the same time, with a somewhat square chin and sharp cheek bones, but a softly cut jaw. He could have been a movie star. She could see why the nurse at the counter had gone all doe-eyed when talking about him. He smiled a little upon entering, and it made him look even younger. He couldn't have been more than 24 at best, to her knowledge. He looked very tired; soft bruising under his dark eyes making him look very brooding and sleepless, but as he picked up her clip board, his voice was soothing and warm. Probably the warmest thing she'd encountered in this overcast, over forested Hell. It was distinctly British to her. Perhaps only because it was still in her father's voice, Jael was able to pick it up here. Forks was nothing like Ireland, and Dr. Cullen was probably the warmest Brit she knew so far. Especially when next to her father.

        "Sorry for the wait. I'm afraid I'm still finding my way around." He chuckled a little. A somewhat embarrassed, self amused kind of chuckle. "As I'm sure you were told, I'm Dr. Cullen and I'll hopefully be tending to you in the future."

        "It's not really tendin', so much as check ups now an' then an' a little therapy."

        "We'll see. If I may, Miss Ab-"  
  
        "Anythin' but Miss Abernathy please-- it makes me cringe."  
  
        "Well then, Jael, I'd like to go over your chart with you, to be sure everything is accurate." He waited, patiently, for her to nod her approval before he looked down at his notes again. If he was going to be thorough, Jael would not complain. She was also a little interested in the way he said her name. Most people pronounced it as if it were the word _Jail_ , but he was one of the few to get it right the first time. _Yay-Ehll_. Even so, he went softer on the J than her parents did, and it made it sound less sharp and strange coming out of his mouth.

        "You were in an accident roughly a year prior to this month, March, it says. You had a concussion that damaged and detached your right retina completely?"  
  
        "I can still perceive light, but the eye stopped refractin' images. So they tell me anyways. This's the best it's gonna heal, an' I wear glasses."  
          
        "May I?" Dr. Cullen pulled the little light pen from his pocket, setting the board down on the bed beside her before holding his other out to take her face.  
          
        "You're the doctor, not me. Do wha'ever you need to." Jael snorted softly, resting her chin into his palm. His hands were ice cold as he swept her part back from her eye and clicked the pen on, shining it into her right eye. She squinted a little, but kept her eyes open, patient, as he did her other eye to study the difference between them. It had been easy enough to tell without doing this, her right eye had a slight variation in its colors, the way the pigment faded out so that it was milkier than the other. Professionally speaking, he was required to check. Jael blinked a few times when he let her chin go, letting her eyes adjust again. She watched the pen light disappear back into his pocket, neatly tucked away along with a few pens, just above his nametag.  
         
        "Wha's the C. for?" She asked, before he could continue on reviewing the notes.  
         
        He quirked a small smile once again, glancing downward at the board in his hands and focusing on that. "It's Carlisle."  
         
        "Interestin' name."  
         
        "So is Jael." He seemed content to amuse her, the poor girl had probably been through enough poking and prodding from strangers, the least he could do is make her feel comfortable before they had to get so close and personal.  
         
        "This says the damage is to the muscles and nerves. You've healed since then, but the muscles are still rather delicate, and it seems like a majority of the nerves have healed."  
         
        "Sounds about right. I can move a few of my toes, that's about it. I can kind of feel my legs, but it's mostly a numb feeling, and I can't otherwise move them."  
         
        "I can try to assign you a female assistant for your therapy, if you would prefer. But the staff here is much more limited..."  
          
        "I know it is- S'alright." Jael shrugged the thin span of her shoulders. "I'm sure you're fine. It's not too hands on really, so it's not like it's gonna bother me."  
          
        A look flitted across Carlisle's face then and she blinked.  
          
        "You look like I just said I'm Satan or somethin', what?"  
          
        "Forgive me," Carlisle interlaced his fingers, leaning against the edge of the side table beside the bed and leaning back. He crossed one ankle over the other, pausing to wet his lips as he considered how to word himself. "Have none of your previous physicians been working to get you walking again?"  
          
        "I-- No? There was my father, but neither of us could take the pressure really. It's not like the nerves can really regenerate at the state they're in though, I've been told that enough. The last time I tried I went through three reconstructive surgeries and had a complete relapse in some muscles along my spine."

        "I'm not saying you'll have all the feeling back, but I think it's very possible, if you're willing to put in the work it takes, to get you back on your feet again. At the very least, capable of short distances on your own. Not anytime soon, over the course of the years."  
         
        The simple way he said it all, as if he couldn't believe this was already being done, struck her as strange. "What makes you think I have any chance of walkin' again?"  
  
        "I've done a lot in the few years I've actually been in the medical field. I'm not saying it's going to be at all easy, but it would be a shame to let someone with so much strength to blow an opportunity to get back what's been taken from you. The chance is slim because it's a lengthy process that people have a hard time finding the strength for, but you've already been through the reconstructive surgeries correct? You pulled through with flying colors. Now that those are done, I think it's worth looking into. But we're going to be working in close company, rather often."  
  
        "You really think I can do this?" Jael didn't know Carlisle at all, but he was a doctor who had been around a few places, he seemed so confident of it, and so warm. She dared to feel... hopeful. "They said my muscle's wouldn't hold up to it. My legs... They were totally crushed in the wreck. And I shattered lumbar vertebrae." She spoke very slowly, carefully, and enunciating more to push down the lax attitude of her accent.  
  
        "You'll be moving at a significantly slower rate than you would rather, I agree. But with enough work, we may be able to get you at least on crutches with the addition of brace supports within the year. It isn't the most attractive thing," He admitted, shifting a little in his makeshift resting spot. "But--"  
          
        "But, I'd be walkin'." Jael confirmed, looking down at her sweatpant clad legs.  
  
        Carlisle's lips pressed into a thin line, wondering if he'd been too forward in telling her this. It was just a shame to him, seeing her struggle when there was even the minute possibility to get the girl walking again. She was much too young to be so frank, so serious, in such an unpalatable situation. It hurt him to see such a thing, especially in such a small town where you could afford to focus so much more attention on individual patients. The last thing he needed though, was to be startled by the sudden push.  
  
        Instead, Jael smiled for the first time since coming in and she blew out a sigh. "Well-- wow. I mean... I'd be crazy not to try, right?"  
  
        "Plenty of people would say you would be crazy to keep trying. It won't be easy."  
          
        When had things ever been easy for Jael as of late? "It doesn't matter."

        "We'll get started as soon as possible then?"  
  
        "That works for me. I'm supposed to be going back to school, so we'll have to work around that."  
  
        "That shouldn't be a problem." Carlisle regarded her chart one last time before he pulled a notepad from his pocket. It was for prescriptions, but he flipped it over and scribbled out a number in a very neatly done hand. "This is a number you can reach me by. If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to call me at any hour." He said, passing the slip off to her. Jael took it with a small smile, keeping it in her hand so that she could put it into her phone. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen." She responded, sincerely, as she brought her chair closer.  
  
        "Oh, allow me-" Carlisle offered a hand to her, but she politely brushed it off, smiling.  
  
        "It's alright. I prefer to do it myself." It wasn't so smooth, doing it on her own, but she was able to lean down and hit the lock on her wheels, angling it so that she could slide off the edge and back into the chair before flipping the lock once again. "Thank you though. So, I guess I'll get my schedule first, and then I can call you and we can start figuring out appointments?"  
  
        "Yes, that's exactly what we'll be doing." He promised her, opening the door for her and continuing alongside her as she wheeled out into the hall. "By resuming school, I'm assuming you're meaning Forks' High school, yes?"  
  
        "Well, there's not exactly anywhere else right here to go is there?" Jael snorted softly, jerking her head a little to sweep a loose curl off the bridge of her freckled nose. "Why'd y' ask?"  
          
        "My children are starting their first days tomorrow as well." He replied with a faint upturn of his thin lips. "I was only curious."  
  
        "You seem a bit young to have kids at all."  
  
        Carlisle took this with nothing more than a bit of a laugh as they turned a corner. "Yes, well, my wife and I chose to adopt older children because of our way of lifestyle."

        "Welp, it's my understandin' that it's a shoebox, just like the rest a the town, so I'm sure they'll fit right in if they want to or wha'ever." Jael shrugged her shoulders, glancing up at him before turning her focus back to watching where she was pushing herself. "I appreciate your optimism in all of this, Dr. Cull'n." She said after a moment, a bit hesitantly. "I might have a habit of being negative, but I wasn't ready to give up yet."  
  
        "It's not a problem, Jael. I'm just doing my job." He smiled at the receptionist, handing her the folder that had been tucked underneath his arm before he turned his full attention back to her. "Now, don't lose that number. I mean it, if you have any reason to, call and we'll discuss whatever it is."  
  
        He seemed to very much mean it, something that sat well with Jael, and she nodded a little. "I'll call you at some point then, after I've gotten my schedule. I just kind of don't understand how such a small place will work for what we'll have to do."

        "I'll see to it that you have any accommodations you need for your therapy, don't worry about that."

        "I'll take your word for it." She told him, and from there, they parted ways. Jael would have to get herself home and make sure she had everything she would need to start school. It had been a while since she'd been back to one, and while she'd done some independent studies to keep up, she wasn't sure if she would be ready to deal with  _people..._

* * *

        In the hall, Carlisle was stopped short by a slightly disheveled looking doctor, loose collared and an equally pale shock of blonde hair that stuck up in various places. "Dr. Cullen?"  
  
        "Yes." Carlisle's head tipped off to one side a little and, folder disappearing under his arm, hand extending to shake the man's hand. "That would be me."  
  
        "Forgive me. Jonathan Abernathy." He gave Carlisle's hand a firm shake, shifting his lanky frame from foot to foot.  
  
        "Ah." It dawned on him that this was his newest patient's father. "A pleasure."  
  
        "Finding everything alright?"  
  
        "Yes, this is a smaller clinic, I haven't had too much trouble yet."  
  
        "Good... That's... That's good." His fingers brushed up through his hair, pushing the layered and unkempt bangs into more disorder than anything else. "Jael, did she give you any difficulty?"  
  
        "No, no, not at all. We're going to be discussing her new rehab routine very shortly. She'll be in good hands, Mr. Abernathy."  
  
        "Johnny- Every... Everyone just calls me Johnny around here." Johnathan's blue eyes shifted back over the man in front of him. He seemed very young, a little too young to be a doctor, and for him to care for her daughter made him uneasy.  
  
        "Your daughter is in good hands, Johnny. I assure you."  
  
        "I know, you come recommended, I just--"  
  
        "Checking in, because it's your daughter. I fully understand."  
  
        "I don't want her getting her hopes up. She's stubborn, but we've already been through the disappointments."  
  
        "There won't be anymore from this point forward." Carlisle's tone never breached anything more than warmth, but there was still a finality to his words, and the tightness in his thin smile. "We may not have the resources immediately available to us that a London bound doctor might, but I assure you, Jael will be given the best of care."  
  
        "So you are from the Queen's land." Her father groused, checking his watch and realizing he'd dallied long enough. "Small reassurance. The schools there are reliable." He shifted again, looking very restless for a man who looked so tired, and he lifted two fingers in a very informally made wave. "Take care then, I suppose I'll be seeing you around."  
  
        "That you shall." Carlisle watched him shuffle off, wondering if he would end up in over his head with his new patient.

* * *

        The motorized chair lift in Jael's home was rather finicky. It probably would have been better to pick somewhere deeper into Forks, a single story house, or somewhere with a lower level room, but Jael preferred the quiet that came with living just on the edge of where the Reservation began. It had been enough of a bitch to install the thing, and it often chose not to work, so after she had been able to drag herself up the stairs and into the spare chair she kept in the upstairs level for this reason, she found her school papers and entered the number she had been given into her phone.  
  
        Jael only had three contacts in her phone now.  
  
        After it was saved, she texted her scheduling to Carlisle, listing her classes and noting which ones would be easiest to miss on which days with the block scheduling if she needed to miss school for her appointments, and with that done, she settled in for bed. Her room was simple. A hammock style bed, long artists desk, a walk-in closet and a tall, narrow night stand with a single photo on it. She had drawings and photos, posters, tacked all over the walls, and a tightly packed, well loved bookshelf. A large papasan chair, ceiling fan, and a single, wide window that took up her bedside wall. The house was quiet, though it creaked when the wind blew. But she had gotten used to it since they'd moved here, and the quiet beat out the loud sounds of the City she had known in New York.  
  
        Settling back in her bed, she left her window cracked, letting some of the cool air in as she pushed against the wall, rocking herself a little and looking down at her legs. Her nightgown bunched high up on her thighs, leaving her legs bare up to the knee where she'd pulled her blankets. Jael had never been terribly thin, but since the crash, and the fact that they didn't get any exercise anymore, her legs were significantly thinner. While she'd never been the pro her sister had been, she knew she'd once had a lot more muscle. It was hard to remember what her life was like before all this, before all the pain, and the meds, and the doctors. "Too heavy, Jael." She mumbled to herself, letting her head fall back against the pillows and closing her eyes with a sigh. She really needed to sleep, not relive some past dramatic memories...

* * *

        "Carlisle! How was work today?" Alice was always chipper, her warm personality was the usual, if it was anything but that, things would seem out of place. But there was also a certain tone to it, her all-knowing attitude that, when you had spent enough time around her, was blatantly obvious.   
  
        "It was fine. I was surprised to see how things have remodeled since we were last in this area." He responded, undoing his tie with careful fingers and the collar button on his shirt. Esme came to his side and he turned his head in time to catch a soft kiss before he took a seat on one of the pale colored sofas. "Why do you ask?"   
  
        "Don't I always ask everyone how things go after we settle in officially?" Alice's lips curved down into a slight pout, and she sounded somewhat offended. "You act like I ask because I'm fishing for something."   
  
        "Aren't you?" Carlisle smiled, the corners of his eyes creasing as he fixed her with amusement. "I recognize the tone."   
  
        "I was just curious." She said finally, after a moment of silence, as if she was listening for any other noises in the house, or waiting for something, possibly even both. Save for Esme, the rest of the house appeared to be empty for the moment, everyone else likely out on the hunt. Carlisle's phone went off then, and he opened it up to check the text before saving the number.   
  
        "What's her name, your new patient?"   
  
        "Alice, you know there's a confidentiality code for these things."   
  
        "No, I know. But it would be nice to put a name to the face."   
  
        Seeing as they hadn't started any of their classes at the school yet, Carlisle knew that putting a name to the face didn't imply that Alice had seen Jael around town, and the fact that she already knew she was a new patient of his, proved she had seen something. "Should I be worried?"   
  
        "No." She blinked a few times and shook her head, squinting. "Maybe. I don't know. Nothing is clear enough yet." It was unusual for Alice to be getting visions about people she wasn't involved with, but it was also unusual that the vision was so unclear if it came at all. It was slightly unsettling, but she wasn't too worried about it. "Her name?"   
  
        "Jael." Carlisle said finally, seeing the almost-but-not-quite scowl on her face disappear back into her usual smile.   
  
        "Thank you!" It looked like she might have wanted to say something else, but a few boisterous voices began to fill the house and her mouth closed again. Bright eyed and full of energy, Emmett and Jasper came through, shoving at each other. Jasper's hair hung in a slightly tangled mess, leaves protruding from the thicker curls, and from the looks of it, Emmett must have been thrown into some dirt because his white shirt had flecks of pale brown and green dusting it. Edward was no better, trailing in behind them and looking just as disheveled.   
  
        "What the Hell!"   
  
        "Alice!" Esme's voice rang in from the Kitchen. Heaven only knew why the woman was in there, other than to clean the already immaculate space. "Language."   
  
        "They're tracking in dirt all over the white carpet!" She retaliated with something of a whine.   
  
        Esme's honey colored waves appeared around the corner wall and she snapped her slender fingers, pointing up the stairs. "Get cleaned up and changed before you sit on anything."   
  
        "Yes, ma'am." Edward was the one to answer, pushing at Emmett's back as they went up the stairs. Before Jasper could go up, Alice was catching his sleeve, pulling him back so that she could remove the leaves from his hair, cradling them in her small palm. "Why do you all look like such a wreck, anyways?"   
  
        His lips turned up in a slightly rueful smile. "Bear." He told her, watching Alice's brows tilt up before she shook her head and sighed.   
  
        "It figures... Alright, up you go." She pursed her lips. "I'll have to figure out what to do with your hair tomorrow...."   
  
        He snorted. "Alice, what does it matter?"   
  
        "The first impression always matters, Jasper!" She responded, almost a little haughtily.   
  
        "Alright, Alright." He sighed, more out of habit than anything else, and lowered to kiss her. She took it, but turned it to her cheek instead, sending him on his way afterwards. If it weren't for the fact that they'd gotten filthy, she wouldn't have told him to change yet, knowing he would probably have to leave early and hunt again, just to put himself at ease. He still had such a hard time around so many people...

* * *

  
        The receptionist in the office had been nice, not that she expected anything otherwise, but it had been a little awkward to have her going over the map of the school and everything while leaning over her. She'd been too short in her chair to see over the counter top, so it was unavoidable, but she'd forgotten about little nuisances like that since it had been so long since she'd last gone to a public school. Not to mention, she'd had to give the poor woman three tires to get her name right. That was likely going to be a large portion of her day, and boy, if that wasn't going to be sad... 

        Problem number two arose when she went to the locker she had been given and found it was a top locker. Lockers were given randomly at Orientation, but Jael hadn't been able to go and pick hers up that day, and had needed to get her key from the woman in the office.  They'd had no idea at the time that Jael was in a wheelchair, but there was nothing they could technically do about her locker for the time being. After the first week, they said they would try to find an opening in a better position. For now she would have to make do with this one. The good news was that her History class was right by the section of lockers she was in. The bad news, aside from having History of all things first thing in the morning, was that she was having difficulty getting her things put into the locker. She couldn't just carry everything around in her bag, it wouldn't fit since she knew she'd be getting books and other things that would have to go in there, and getting her backpack off the back of her chair constantly would be straining, and she couldn't very well keep it in her lap the whole time

        How was she going to deal with this? She should probably get a messenger bag instead of a regular backpack. Something newer, and not several years old with a broken second zipper. Jael was just about ready to go, when she realized she'd shoved her History notebook in with the others like an absolute moron. Everything had been stacked in kind of haphazardly, putting the yellow one she knew she'd labelled for history somewhere in the middle. It should have been a quick grab, but it was above her head still, which made it harder. There were other people around her, but she didn't dare to ask some random stranger to get her things out for her. It was embarrassing enough as is.

        Her fingers wrapped around it, and it had begun to slide out easily. Aha! A smidgen of good luck, just what she needed. Grab the notebook, get to class and find a seat in the back. Everything would be ok if she could just do that. She celebrated too soon though, and before she could stop it, her notebook had sent a couple other notebooks and her drawing binder tumbling out of the locker. The binder hit the wheel's banister and went bouncing onto the floor, scattering out loose pages and a few pencils, and the notebooks caught between where her feet stuck out under her thin blanket and the bottom locker she was pressed right up against, taking her blanked down past her knees with the rest of the clutter, where gravity made it bunch up unforgivingly.

        "Shit."

        An eraser or something must have rolled behind her chair, because when she went to wheel back, she found the wheel stuck and she couldn't move back enough to bend down and pick up the notebooks at the very least.

        "Damn--"

        Her pale face burned with the blotchy red blush she hated so much in her embarrassment, and she cursed her luck over and over in her head. If anyone noticed her horrible blunder, they didn't show it, moving around her and stepping over her scattered items if they were in the way. Biting her lip, Jael grabbed the banister on her wheel again and pushed a bit more viciously so that she could just roll over whatever was in the way and get the space she needed.

        She did roll back, but not in the direction she should have gone in pushing only one wheel, and her head whipped around, unsure whether she was about to thank the person or tell them it was incredibly rude to just move a person in a wheel chair without even asking. When she looked though, she couldn't see anyone over the back of her chair. Puzzled, she leaned to the side a little and realized it was a very petite girl with a medium-short head of dark and spikey hair, and that she was bending down to pick up some of her discarded items. "Oh-- Thank you...."

        Hearing someone clear their throat, she faced back forward and saw that her art binder had been neatly collected and that it was being held back out to her. The boy was just as pale as the girl was, but blonde, and looking very tall and tense. His eyes were an incredibly dark brown, so much so that they almost looked black. He didn't seem to be looking at her at all though, eyes focused off somewhere else intently, like he didn't want to make eye contact.

        "Sorry, um, would you mind putting it in there?" She pointed back to her locker, and he obliged in putting it back in, bending again afterwards to pick up her blanket and draping it back in her lap, carefully, and being even more careful to avoid actually touching her at all as he did so. The girl did the same, putting back the other notebooks and handing her back the notebook she had been initially reaching for, and leaving her hand extended for a moment when Jael had taken it from her fingers.

        "Sorry for grabbing you." Her voice was very soft, and light. A charming, slightly childish voice. "But you looked like you were having a little trouble. I'm Alice."

        "Er- I was. Thank you." Jael mumbled again, fisting her hand in the edge of her blanket. "I guess I'm not used to having these problems yet. I'm Jael."

        She turned her head, expecting the blonde by to give his name. He blinked a few times, as if he'd gone off somewhere entirely and he swallowed hard, clasping his hands in front of him. It didn't help in making him look any less stiff. He didn't give his name either. After a moment, he did speak though.

        "Hello..."

        His voice was deeper than she'd expected, a little bit rough, but she couldn't pick up anything otherwise from just a single word.

        The fire was back in his throat. It had been there all morning, like a dull throb that he would learn to ignore better as time went, but when they'd come down the hall to get to their first class and they'd approached the girl who had spilled all her things, the burn had come back full force and he was having a hard time breathing his habitual breaths. Looking back down at the faded, pale tile, he adjusted his shoulder on his bag and went around her, ducking into the nearby door that marked their History class.

        Alice, as Jael now knew, gave a small smile before she turned on her heel and went in after him and Jael spent a moment just sitting in the hall.

        Weird...

        Jael shut her locker before she slowly trailed in after the last trickle of other students just as the bell rang. As people were finding their seats, she wheeled herself towards the back. The only available table left was beside the pixie haired girl and her intense blonde companion...

* * *

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who have marked this hoping for an update, Holy Hell am I so sorry it took ages to get the first Official chapter out. I had a lot of hang ups figuring out how to do this since it's set before Twilight actually even begins and my life has been kinda crazy for a while... Still, I hope it was worth it and I greatly appreciate your support. 
> 
> Please, Please, Please leave a comment if you've read this, and feel free to favorite this if you haven't already, or to share around if you know anyone else who might like to read this. The cover art and Chapter are all done by me, so please, no claiming as your own.
> 
> Much love~
> 
>  
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Of course that I don't own anything related to the Twilight Saga in novel or film form. I do own the character of Jael, though, and the art being used.
> 
> And side note that I'm sorry the image doesn't translate so well when it's a transparency and you're posting it in places... yikes, hah.


	3. Awkward or Asshole?

 "Alice." It was a little unusual for Jasper to hiss in a low tone to Alice about anything, but rather than being smart and guiding him away from the person making his throat burn savagely all over again, she was leading him towards her. Had he been a normal person, he could have had no problem with the situation. The girl was stuck, that much was obvious, and anyone able-bodied to help her was intentionally passing her over. People's discomfort made other people uncomfortable. He could feel the embarrassment, the mortification rolling off of her in waves. He felt bad, but that was nothing compared to what he felt could happen if he had to get closer to her.   
          
        Alice paid him no mind, grabbing his wrist and towing him along after her. Her things had scattered everywhere, but he picked the things that were as far from her as possible. There were scattered pages everywhere he had to pick up, drawings, sketches. The kind of things Alice sometimes made. It intrigued him, but he didn't touch anything for very long, the sharp clove-like scent clung to his fingertips already and he was quick to clear his throat and hold the items out to her.  
  
        "Sorry, um, would you mind putting it in there?" The locker she was reaching for was far enough above her head that he could see why she'd had trouble, and he placed the binder back into the locker before bending and picking up the thin blanket that had been draped in her lap before stepping back again. Immediately his ears picked up the tone, the accent in her voice. She was from somewhere in Ireland. It was pretty obvious, since most of the locals in their area were regular American's, or part of the tribes, from the Reservation.  
  
        Alice's voice faded out under the rapid heartbeat that was gradually leveling out again in the redhead's chest. He tried not to focus on that, on the way his mouth felt dry, and watched the exchange between the two without really hearing anything. Why was Alice doing this? There was a reason, more or less, to anything she did.  
          
        Her name was Jael. His first thought was that it was an odd name, but she didn't exactly read the regular type. Strange wasn't hard to come by in Forks, but their type of strange was the type that went unnoticed. This girl, though, she was strange. It wasn't the chair, or the braces, or even the bitter sweet smell of her blood. It was maybe the dark color of her lipstick, glossy and dark like a widow. It was definitely the hard set of her eyes, and how the minute Alice had started talking to her, her emotions flipped down like someone had closed up a hatch and he was hit with a wall, something he hadn't encountered from someone very often.  
  
        She was looking at him now, Jasper realized, and he hadn't been following the conversation enough. Her eyes were two different colors. There were flecks of red in her lashes, under her mascara. A small scar on her lip. Behind her, Alice pressed her lips together, her thin brows arching up in an expression that urged: "Say something!"  
  
        "Hello..." It seemed so suffice enough, though Jael's expression twisted into something slightly confused, and he took that moment to duck his head and head for the history classroom. He could hear Alice's designer heels click after him and he turned his head towards her as they made their way to their seats. "What the Hell are you doing?"  
  
        "I'm being friendly." She mumbled, for some reason sounding insulted that he'd spoken to her that way, like she hadn't known he'd been struggling. "She needed help."  
  
        "That's not our job. Our job is to lay low." He sounded like an asshole, he knew he did, but he had his own valid reasons for it.  
          
        "You do sound like an asshole." Alice chided in her childish voice, knowing enough to know that he knew it, and to be able to say it. She took the inner most seat at the back row of three desks on one side of the E-shaped desk arrangements. Jasper sighed and sat down next to her, the irritation in his throat subsiding a little with so many other scents clouding each other. In theory, you would think it would make things worse for him, but everything blended together this way, made it easier to ignore as a whole. Nothing stuck out. He watched everyone wander to their seats, when the warning bell rang. Jael came through.  
  
        There was only one seat left.  
         
        "Alice, switch with me."  
  
        "No."  
  
        "What?" He turned his head sharply. "Why?"

          
        "Because!" She huffed, sounding impatient.  
  
        "Alice-"  
  
        "No, Jas'. Now, move the chair for her." Jasper opened his mouth to retaliate again and Alice set her jaw.  
  
        His mouth closed, as did his eyes for a moment, and he stood, picking up the chair next to him and setting it up on the back counter, out of the way.  
  
        "You didn't have to do that." Jael mumbled, just a few paces back. "Sorry there's nowhere else to sit."  
  
        She hadn't heard the little exchange between them, but she was pretty good about knowing when the people she had to approach were talking about her. Jasper merely shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting down again. "It's not really a big deal." Nodding, Jael tucked herself into place at her new seat, setting her notebook on the desk and a mechanical pencil.  
  
        "Well, thanks anyways. For the help earlier, an' for movin' the chair for me..." For a moment she said nothing else, but then she turned her head, her eyebrows knitting together and forming little creases in the center of her forehead. "You, ah, never told me your name. Just kind of glowered, said Hullo and ghosted off."  
  
        "Sorry about that." He did his best to sound sincere, worrying his finger over the faded nub of the eraser on his pencil. "Jasper, Jasper Cullen."  
  
        Her brow shifted from their creased position and instead relaxed, the recognition in the last name flashing across her face. "Oh, you're Dr. Cull'n's kids."  
  
        "You know our father?" Alice leaned forward to see her around Jasper, making him lean back in his chair a little.  
  
        "Yes, he's my new doctor, apparently." Jael thumbed her pinky nail, rubbing over the shiny polish idly. "He mentioned he had kids starting..."  
  
        "Forgive me for asking, but where are you from?"  
          
        "Clifd'n. County Galway. I know, pretty obvious, i'n'it?" She sighed a little, scratching her name into the cover of her new notebook gently with the tip of one sharp nail. "So I've been told many times today."  
  
        "Well, only beause we haven't had anyone new here. We'd know, we were the new kids too. I hear Ireland is beautiful."  
  
        "Yeah, well, it's wet. An' green. And some places're small." She shrugged, not knowing what else to say. She didn't want to be a jerk to the kids of her doctor, but she wasn't sure she wanted to try and make any friends.  
  
        "What other classes do you have?" Alice plucked up the little half sheet that held her class listings before Jael could even interject.  
  
        "Alice, don't-" Jasper reached for it, but the little pixie leaned out of his reach to look it over. "Looks like we have Art and English together too! Your math course is with one of our brothers. And you have Science with our sister. I... don't see a gym class."  
  
        "Yeah, there's not really much I can do?" She arched a brow, gesturing to her wheelchair.  
  
        Alice made the kind of gesture you saw when someone blushed, though her cheeks stayed pale and relaxed. "Sorry, of course." She handed the list back and Jael made sure to fold it up this time and tuck it into the built in slip in her camisole.  
  
        "It's alright."  
          
        The teacher was ready to start then, and they quieted down. The class itself was uneventful, as was most of her day. It was a bit of a rinse and repeat. Introduce yourself in the classes with the over enthusiastic teacher, shut up and sit down in the ones who didn't care. She loved English, when they didn't do cliché's to the point where she felt a need to tell people to stop beating the dead horse. She was sure to love her art class at the end of the day, loved that her lack of a PE course gave her a free period. And at least she was pretty good at biological and earth sciences, and a little of the genetics.   
  
        Alice was a very talkative girl, though Jael found she could usually get away with just nodding and occasionally humming, and that she didn't have to say much. She was nice, but wow, sometimes she got going. Still, at least the conversations were sometimes interesting. They talked a little about books, and makeup, and clothing. And a little about music. Jasper was another story. More often than not he just sort of sat there with them and watched, maybe he listened, she honestly couldn't tell.  
  
        Lunch was a little irritating and simultaneously a bit annoying. She met a very... animated boy named Eric. She pictured the puppy his name made her think of anytime she looked at him though Jael had been rather upset when he'd taken her picture before asking. Jael had a nice camera of her own, she liked taking pictures, but she wasn't so sure she liked being in pictures that other people took. He introduced her to an interesting mix of kids at lunch, but she didn't really talk much to them. There was Jessica, Angela, Mike, and a boy name Tyler came around for a bit. They all seemed to belong more or less to more popular crowds, though she wasn't sure how that had included Eric. He was sweet, but he was tall, gangly, very awkward and his hair could use a little less product, because it was greasy and stringy. But his face, despite the poor complexion, was sweet and honest. Like a puppy.  
  
        The girls were like watching incarnations of yin and yang. One, shy and reserved, acting lacking, the other a little snobbish, or maybe it was prissiness. She was certainly more confident. Tyler was your typical jock in every way she could see so far, broad, with a loud and deep voice and a loud presence. Mike was...He was sort of like a puppy too. But a bigger puppy than Eric. He was sweet, and while he wore a sports jacket, she couldn't imagine what sport such a small guy actually played.  
  
        Still, she didn't let the impressions sit in her brain, figuring she'd find out what they were like if she talked to them. She knew how she had to look to people anyways. A crippled emo with a funny accent. She wasn't like that at all, and she would gladly defend her style of choice as gothic alternative, if someone asked, but if no one asked, she wasn't about to comment. She was on the fence as is about the group though, because one of their first questions had been on what had happened to her, seeing as her wrists had braces on them and she was in a chair.   
  
        Jael didn't want to talk about it with strangers, so she vaguely had told them it was an accident and had steered the subject back to about how Eric had better not print that photo he'd taken in the yearbook. It had worked, and she'd managed to get through her day, and to her art class without too much unpleasantry.  
  
        Now she just had to find a seat. She chose one of the large desks off to the side, that way she didn't have to travel too far to maneuver to the counter where all the supplies were kept. She didn't know what they'd be doing, and even though she knew they would supply what she would need, she pulled out her personal sketchbook, setting the art binder aside and flipping through it. Stopping on a page of different shaped eyes, Jael gently unwrapped the cloth bandage from her left hand and picked up her pencil. She braced her arms comfortably against the heavy table, continuing to shade at a few of the eyes and letting her back arch inward a little with the weight of her body. She could feel the gentle pull of muscles along the back of her spine, a little more comfortable compared to sitting in her chair all day and sitting straight. The back of her camisole rolled up the small of her back, enough to show off two little flashes of silver beading in the dimples of her back.  
  
        Kids filed in, some of them getting right to work, she assumed because they'd already begun an assignment. There was a lot of shuffling in and out behind her, to get to sharpeners and pencil bins, but Jael paid it no mind. They were weirdly comforting, familiar sounds.  
  
        Several flecks of multicolored dust spilled onto her page and she made a small sound of annoyance, picking up the book and trying to tap off as many as possible so it didn't leave any marks. It didn't stop there, either, and she looked up to scowl at whoever was making a mess. Sweeping all the extra bits that had spilled out of the sharpener she'd emptied off onto her desk was Lauren Mallory. With her icy blonde hair and green eyes, she resembled a little bit of a cat. Especially with that jackass-y "Cat that ate the Canary" smirk on her face as she blew the last bits of colored dust from her fingers.  
  
        Jael and Lauren had already met. She'd had the most _Wonderful_ time dealing with her and her brunette, parrot friend Samantha in Science today. They were awful work partners, and from now on Jael would be asking to work alone.  
  
        "Lauren, you know we're in Highschool, right? Not the start of Primary school?" She sighed, a tired sigh, and swept the colored flecks onto the floor, leaving multi-colored stains on her black, netted brace.  
  
        "You took the notes for Science. I need them."  
  
        "No, I took the notes that _I_ took for the lab we're doing. You happening to have not taken any isn't my problem," Jael tipped her head up to look at her, having to turn a little in her chair to do so and tipping her head back rather far because of how close the girl was standing to her. "Talk to Mr. Banner about it tomorrow."  
  
        "Why? Just give me the notes and I'll make copies-"  
          
        "Because!" Her voice shot up a couple octaves, slightly shrill but not exactly, because she didn't do shrill. "You spent most of it being a total ice princess and only talking to your friend instead of paying attention and helping.  
  
        On their way into the art room, Jasper gabbed Alice by the wrist and pulled her just off to the side when he saw that look in her eye that told him she wanted to go sit with Jael. "Alright, out with it."  
  
        "Out with what?" Alice set her jaw again and a muscle in Jasper's twitched. He blew out a sigh through his nose.  
  
        "Come on, Alice. You're the only thing I've trusted in decades of my life, you don't think I know when you're keeping a secret from me? You're acting strange. Even for you. What is it with you and her?"  
  
        "I don't know." She told him, honestly scowling. "I'm sorry. I just know she's important. That's all I can say."  
  
        "You see her?"  
  
        "Not clearly, but yes." She whispered, her voice an urgent hiss. urgent, because they couldn't talk about this here. "Can we just go sit?"  
  
        "Anywhere but there."  
  
        "Jas'-"  
  
        "I can't."  
  
        "Yes, you can." She brushed her hand over his jaw for a moment, and the tension in it relaxed. His hand dropped from her wrist. She peered around him then, when she picked up on the voices and she crossed towards that side of the room.  
  
        "I don't care if ya fail or not. So, why don't you do me the favor an' get your pink lace wearing fanny out of my--"  
  
        Alice slid between Lauren and Jael, making her cut off her words. "Excuse me Lauren. You're sort of in the way of my seat."  
  
        Lauren had height on Alice, she was pretty sure most girls had height on Alice, but having her standing toe to toe with Lauren seemed to made her back down. She rolled her eyes and tossed her hair over her shoulder before heading back for her seat. Alice sat down on the stool next to Jael beaming a small smile at her. Jasper sat down across from her, giving a small hello. Jael narrowed her eyes at him a little. He was curious. She couldn't tell if he was Awkward, or if he was just an Asshole... yet, anyways.  
  
        "So!" Alice dropped her petite hand on the table, making a loud enough noise to startle Jael out of focus, and making her look in her direction with raised eyebrows. "Yeah?"  
  
        "We just finished our last projects, s o now we get to do portraits. I'd love it if you'd let me use you as a model. Jasper is using me, and you could do one of him."  
  
        "Thanks, but I'll just find someone on my own, I think."  
  
        "You have to do it of a classmate." She said, and Jael groaned a little. One of those projects. She felt entirely less guilty for butchering a photo of someone random she didn't know, compared to messing up someone she knew would see it. Not to mention the fact that, from what she'd seen when she chose to look at him, Jasper was a very handsome, sharp cut figure and she didn't want to risk making a crappy portrait he'd have to look at. But of course, it was an assignment.  
  
        "I-- Alright. I guess.... Do you mind?" Jael picked up her camera then, holding it up to get Jasper's attention. His immediate instinct was to tell her no, that he'd rather she found someone else. But everyone was already paired up and started anyways. Still, he was considering it. A tiny foot connected with his shin under the table and while he didn't jump, his eyes widened and darted to stare at the only one at the table capable of kicking him. Alice merely nodded her head, jerking it towards Jael, and he sighed nearly inaudible.  
          
        "No, of course not. Go ahead." he told her softly, sitting a little more upright in his seat.  
        Jael turned on her camera and uncovered the lens gently before she aimed it at him and took her picture. He looked tense, and while it wouldn't have killed him to smile, she wasn't sure it would have saved how intense he looked when he stared at people.  
  
        "Oookay." There was a small laugh in there somewhere, that she tried to shove down. She saw one of Jasper's eyebrows arch up sharply. "Sorry, you just-- Could you try smiling?"

  
        Alice outright giggled next to her and Jael felt just a little bad when he looked down and swallowed, looking actually a little... embarrassed? Uncomfortable? She couldn't tell. "You know what, never mind. The one picture is fine. It's just a reference anyhow. Thanks." She idly watched Alice move around, gathering supplies. The way she moved, she was very graceful, but it was the way she moved her feet that caught her eye and she found herself cracking a small smile.  
  
        "What?" She asked once she was seated again, watching Jael curiously as she shook her head.  
         
        "Sorry. You dance ballet, don't you?"  
  
        "It's a hobby of mine." Alice replied, a little proudly. "Is it obvious?"  
  
        "To me it is." She nodded a little, taking the fresh sheet of paper she was given by the teacher and beginning to carefully start the process of gridding it out. It was almost in her to say more, but she didn't want to talk about it, and instead she focused on what she was doing. They actually talked a little more this time, Jasper too, though only when Alice roped him into it, and there weren't very many words exchanged at all even then. But it was a different vibe, and she decided Jasper probably wasn't an asshole at all, just awkward and a little blunt. It had been slightly awkward to have Alice remove her glasses to take a picture for her own portrait, but she tried hard to not mind.  
  
        Time flew by, and the bell rang, and Jael was careful in packing up everything, and putting the star of the portrait, which was nothing more than a generalized sketch at the time, into a folder with her name on it to leave in the class. "Thanks for getting Lauren off my back by the way." Jael said, as sort of an afterthought to Alice, zipping her backpack up carefully and starting to re-bandage her hand after she'd been able to rub the graphite stains away. She didn't have to watch what she was doing to do it, so she watched Jasper instead. When he'd sat down, he'd turned the chair around and straddled the back, leaving his long limbs comfortably stretched out in front of him. She hadn't realized before how tall he was. Especially with Alice next to him. He had a good foot on her at least, he had to...  
  
        Realizing she was sort of gawking at him, she lowered her eyes and clipped the bandage back into pace with the little metal hooks it came with, pushing herself away from the table and heading out.  
  
         Now, her parents had made it a point to get rid of the car once they'd gotten settled in. Mom took taxis when she had to go away on trips, which was more often than not. Dad would walk or catch a ride with one of the other doctors at the hospital. Their combined salaries allowed for the stupidity they did willingly, regularly. And Jael? Well, obviously she couldn't wheel herself through the woods and home. There was, however, a neighbor that her father had worked something out with. Her name was Marina, and she was a quiet, native woman. She had to have only been 30at the oldest, but she was always going in and out of town all the time, and so she had been happy to bring Jael along since school was a stop along the way. Anything, for her parents to not have to buy a new car. After the accident, they just seemed to refuse.  
  
        Jael was fine with this for now, Marina didn't push her to talk, and she didn't want to ride with her parents every day. It wasn't until she'd already gotten into the car though, that she realized she'd left her glasses. "Fuck."  
  
        "Something wrong?" Marina blew a thin wisp of dark hair from her nose, pulling her old Chevy truck out of the lot.  
  
        "I forgot my glasses. I'll get them tomorrow though." She sighed, shoving her hair back and tying it in place with a ribbon that was about three inches wide, wrangling the curls into weak submission. "Thanks again for the ride."  
  
        "You don't have to keep thanking me. Just keep sending those paintings my way once in a while. I always need décor for my studio." Marina ran a dance studio in Seattle, maybe that was why Jael wasn't so upset about being driven by the woman who had a ballerina shoe ornament hanging from her mirror. Her car always smelled like the studio. The sweet smelling polish and the powder for shoes, and the smell of satin slippers. She was as warm personality wise as her skin was, and it was that personality that reminded her a lot of Elisiah. She doubted she was the only one who thoughts so in her family, either.  
  
        Going home, it was silent in the house until it came time for the late dinner they usually had. Jael chewed her salad in relative quiet, staring at the patterns in the awful floral tablecloth they'd found at a garage sale. Across from her, her father sat. Mom was gone, as usual. Another trip. Vegas she said, conferences or something for writers. Jael gets a generic check-in text from her mother promptly at 7, when they started dinner. She doesn't ever reply to them.  
  
        Jael's father picks at the chicken breast on his plate. She's sure it has little flavor. He doesn't really cook, but then again, neither does her mother when she's around. She drowns her salad in more dressing, crunches down. He fills up his glass with more brandy.  
  
        "Leave the plates. I'll get them in the morning." Jonathan says as Jael pushes back from the table. He won't do the dishes in the morning. He never does. Like clockwork: Mom goes away. Dad makes another tasteless dinner after a double shift he intentionally took. Drinks his dinner, but picks at his food.  
  
        "Mom texted."  
  
        "Did she?"  
  
        "Yep." Jael takes her plate to the kitchen, pushes it back on the counter. "Did she call you?"  
  
        "No." Silence is filled with a lengthy sip from his glass. The chair creaks back against the floor, he brings his dishes to the sink and sets them down too. It's not a surprise. Jael's mother never calls. But, she supposed if she were screwing around with other people, she probably wouldn't bother to call her husband either. "How was school?"  
  
        "Fine."  
  
        "Any trouble?"  
  
        "Nope." She pops the word softly, to fill some of the quiet, wheels around the scarecrow in the kitchen, stops at the fridge and grabs a can from it.  
  
        "You're not supposed to drink on your medications."  
  
        "They said I can have one once in a while. Besides, you drank your dinner. Again."  
  
        "Jael, it's been a long day. And things are different here, we're not in Galway anymore."  
  
        "Yeah, tell me about it. It's always a long day, Dad. That doesn't mean you can just check out."  
  
        "I thought we talked about this, love."  
  
        "Sure we did, but we talk about it nearly every week." She sighed, set the can in her lap and shut the fridge. Her father says nothing else, he knows she's right, shuffles back to the dining room table, lids the decanter, blows out the cheap candles. Jael goes back to the stairs so that she can get herself up and to bed. The chair lift stops halfway up and she takes to pulling herself up the rest of the way, into her spare chair, and finally into her room. The beer is frothy and bitter in her mouth. She's not really a fan of it, but it settles warm in her throat and stomach, and she picks up her Hemingway for English class, deciding to read ahead a little because of how much she hates his work.  
  
        Everyone goes on about how Hemingway is romantic. Romantic? Hemingway?  He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso, trying to nail his leftovers. Jael reads two chapters ahead, before her phone rings. Her mother calls.  
  
        "Hi, sweetie." It's her mom's superficial sweet voice. The baby voice she claims she never intends to use. "How was the first day?"  
  
        "Hi mom. It was fine."  
  
        "Any trouble?"  
  
        "Uh-uh."  
  
        "Make any friends?"  
  
        "Uh-uh." Jael tucks a bookmark into her novel, sets it on her desk.  
  
        "Is everyone nice?"  
  
        "Mom, it's late." It's only 9, Jael is never in bed before 11. But her mother takes the bait anyways, her obligatory check-in has been accomplished, finally.  
  
        "Alright, goodnight, Jael I'll see you again in a week."  
  
        The call disconnects and Jael waits for the screen to change before going to set her alarm for the morning. She finds a message from Carlisle, lining up her first set of appointments for the next few weeks. She thanks him, marks them down on the calendar on her desk, and on the one on her phone before taking her beer over to her bed, setting it on the nightstand. Jael doesn't bother with pajamas this time. She strips, collapses into her hammock, and waits for it to steady.  
  
        This window is still cracked, letting in a cool breeze. She likes it, and just pulls the thin sheet up over her waist, letting the hammock rock just a little bit with a nudge of her hand. There are stick on stars on her ceiling, they've gotten enough light in the last few days, through the thick clouds, to glow dimly. The house is so quiet, she call always hear things shuffling around. She hears the moving of more dishes, as the table gets cleared off. Silverware scraping away food. Leftovers are rarely kept. They never would get eaten anyways. Something falls, and crashes with a brilliant tinkle of glass.  
  
        The parts of Jael's body that aren't numb go rigid and tight. She thinks back to all the glass. The noise. The rain. The sides of her face are wet. She hears the shuffle of the glass being cleaned, the angry muttering. The pieces slide into a bin, the lid closes firmly. She forgets how to breathe. The footsteps come up the stairs, and the air comes back to her, startling into her lungs. The door closes, and Jael wills her muscles to relax, counting the sections up her spine, and in her arms, waits for the ache the tension gave to fade. She remembers again, and thumbs the long line on her wrist.

 

Note: yes, I did quote ten things I hate about you. And yes, the update is super delayed. I'm so sorry. I'm going to be inconsistent like that, but I'm trying to get into a sort of schedule. Pleeease comment, like, and share if you want. I hope you're continuing to enjoy this fic!


	4. Blood, Sweat & Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby steps are better than none.

        Things got easier, little by little. Normally, people spaced physical therapy out, to give the body time to adjust, but Jael was stubborn. And Carlisle, well he was quickly coming to realize it was better to let her than to try and fight it. Her body hurt, make no mistake, but the pain was rewarding. It started in small ways, doing pushups, because working her chair was hard. Forks had a lot of uneven territory, and the more she went into town or got around, the more she realized this. It was a little awkward, because she couldn't support most of her body at all without her legs, but Carlisle insisted anyways, getting a slip to hold her up around her middle while she did the work with her arms. She could still feel it in her core at least, the way her abdominal muscles protested from lack of use. Eventually though, her arms began to thank her.  
  
        They worked her legs too, not just with Carlisle helping her to move them and keep the circulation going, but also trying to temper her nerves. Some of them would never heal, Carlisle said that Jael would always have numb areas, but that the muscles were still mostly in tact, and now that the bones had finally recovered from all their breaks, he had faith that she could get stronger. And Jael did too, she really hoped anyways. The tempering was probably one of the worst parts. It was a therapy, but it consisted of higher and lower temperatures. Almost like an "Icy-Hot" to the extreme. Transitioning between these sheets of what felt like scalding cloths to absolutely frozen ones. The feeling went from numbness, to a painful pins and needles, and back. Rinse and repeat. They only wandered to her spine once, but it had hurt too much for her to handle. The damage had been a lot worse in that area of her body, because the car had pinned her legs between her seat and the front seat, but the real crush of it all had been in her torso. She'd had broken ribs, shattered vertebrae.   
  
        She could remember that part, only in blurry fragments. The clearest part had been how loud the sound of all that glass was, and then the ringing in her ears. The copper taste coming up from her mouth. At first, in the hospital, she had worn a cast around her torso. Being a little bit of an art lover, she'd occupied her conscious hours reading the Frida Kahlo biography. She had been impaled by a bus pole, for Jael, it had been some twisted steel fragments from the hood of the car that had hit her. It had been relatable. Well, up until all of the "Oh Diego." And the imaginary son she wrote to sometimes. Her art was personal, and powerful. Even a little weird. And that's what she liked.  
  
        "Deep breath."  
  
        Carlisle's voice made her tense, pulling her out of her pleasant train of thought as she set her book back down on the crackly paper on top of the bed. She felt the wet, spongey sterilizer swipe over her lower back, inside the carefully taped off square of skin outlined. She lay on her side, ready for one of her other least favorite parts of it all; Lumbar puncture's, which hurt like a bitch. But he had yet to do one lately, so she had to. Her nails dug into the stiff padding of the side of her bed and she forced herself to relax. Felt his icy fingers gently brace the skin, and felt the needle.  
  
        "Nnn…." Her teeth grit, but she forced herself to hold still. Lumbar needles were... an interesting experience. She could always feel it all the way through and coming out again. When it was free, she let herself exhale and released the grip on the cushion.  
  
        "Sorry." She heard his voice softy from somewhere behind her as she shuffled around and she chuckled a little, sniffing deeply and wiping at her eyes.  
  
        "Eh. Don' worry about it Carlisle." They were on a first name basis, one she insisted on to make things feel less awkward. And she liked the way it rolled off her tongue, his name, even if it sounded a little funny compared to the plain American, the way she rolled the R, and the way her I's almost had a slight A sound to them. He didn't mind, in fact he'd vaguely mentioned once that he had some cousins of sorts in Ireland. Sometimes she got little pieces out of Carlisle, but it wasn't very often. He was slicker than she realized, but he always managed to never exactly lie to her.   
  
        When he gave her permission to, she sat up again and pulled her shirt back down from around her neck. "Are we feeling up to any therapy today, or would you rather have a free day?" He asked, penciling in a few things on his clip board and giving her the refill slip for her prescription while they were there.  
  
        "I'm not about to slow up if I don' have to." Jael responded, grinning that lopsided grin that made her look more like a schoolboy than a woman. It tugged the little scar above her lip on the right side, consistent with the scars speckling around her eye and brow bone. "Besides, I'm working up some serious guns here." She curled her fists and flexed her arms, admiring the muscle she was building up. She couldn't say anything about her legs yet, but her arms had begun to shape up nicely. Then again, they'd been nice to bein with. Jael had once been a strong enough girl. Mildly athletic. But she hadn't been able to fully work out in a long time. Now she was allowed to have small hand weights, and all the exercises she did with Carlisle. It actually... made her really happy.  
  
        "Whatever you say, Jael." Came his response, and she dared to say he was laughing at her a little. In that subtle, Carlisle kind of way.  
  
        "You're kind of an arse sometimes." She stated, snorting with that same grin.  
  
        "I-- What?" He blinked at her, lowering her clipboard chart. The expression took years off his slightly exhausted face, as if he needed that. "Excuse me?"  
  
        She laughed, hiccupping out another snort and flipped the bed of curly bangs back from her face. "You're kind of an arse. You're doin' that thing again. Laughin' at me in your polite, not-laughin' way."  
  
        "I wasn't laughing at you," He did laugh a little this time though, tucking the chart under his arm. "I'm not sure anyone's ever called me that before, either."  
  
        "You were laughin' at me. You're a little bit of a bullshitter."  
  
        "You're delightful, has anyone ever told you that?" The male mused.  
  
        "All the time, it's why I have so many admirers." She replied, cheekily, sliding her way back into her chair and only making a little groan over the soreness in her back. It would go away, but there was always a little swelling at first. Settling her legs into her chair comfortably, she sighed a little. "Anyways, what're we tryin' today then?"  
  
        "Well, first we'll go pick up your refill, and I'll drop off your charts. Then I think we'll try and work on your core more, and of course your arms. Pull ups, and the standing bars."  
  
        "Pull-ups, you're joking right?"  
  
        "I don't joke about these things, Jael." He opened up the door for her and held it while she went through, trailing beside her. "I'll help you, you'll see."  
  
        "I can't tell if you're trying to kill me or make me better." She joked as she coasted down the hall. She couldn't remember enjoying therapy before. It was rough, and sometimes she cried, but it wasn't as stressful as it had been with her father. "You think I'm ready for the standing bars?"  
  
        "Honestly, your body is probably too weak to handle it, but we need to try. We'll start you off in a body brace, just to see how it goes." She felt his hand on her shoulder when they stopped at the desk, and so she looked up at him. "I won't let you get hurt. We'll go slow."  
  
        It didn't take long to get her meds, and to get to on of the rooms they had available with some of the equipment they needed. Carlisle had kept up on his promises, they always had what she needed, even if they didn't before, he made sure of it. She'd been concerned about the costs, therapies always came expensive and her father's plan covered some of it, but not everything. But in the end, it didn't matter. It kept working out well enough and she had a small, sneaking suspicion it was in part because of Carlisle. Still, she didn't comment about it. Her eyes landed on a rather uncomfortable looking cylindrical piece. It almost looked a little bit medieval and her mouth pressed uncertainly into a thin line.  
  
        "I know." Carlisle ran a hand through his hair, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not the most attractive thing." She'd remembered him saying so earlier, and he was right. "But it's not for long wear anyways. We don't have to try it if you don't want to, but it's going to take more pressure off your spine and I'm more concerned with your comfort."  
  
        "No, no, we'll try it." Jael nodded, flipping her hair back again. "It's just..."  
  
        "Intimidating?"  
  
        "Yeah."  
  
        "That's alright." He told her, sliding his lab coat from his shoulders and hanging it on the rack. "Even I can agree. But it's better than risking anything collapsing again."  
  
        "I know." She sighed and wheeled her chair alongside the small platform with parallel bars making up the sides. "These almost remind me of Ballet Barres...."  
  
        "Are you familiar with those?"  
  
        "I used to be." She smiled a little, stroking her hand over one of the polished wood poles. "Really familiar, actually. I wasn't a prima like my sister, but I was good." She blinked a couple times, coming out of a really brief, spacey train of thought before dropping her hand back to her lap. "Alright, how are we going to do this?"  
  
        "Do you trust me?"  
  
        "Christ on a stick, what kinda question issat?" Jael burst out a laugh that had just a note of nerve back into it.  
  
        "An important one." He replied, gently picking up the brace and a couple compression cloth braces. "Do you?"  
  
        "I do." She nodded slowly, taking the brace as he handed it to her, gently removing her flats and sliding the cloth braces up over her leg. While she didn't really have the feeling back in her skin yet, she could feel the faintly tight sensation of the cloth wrapping around her joint, making it feel more secure. "Too tight?"  
  
        "No, they're ok, I think."  
  
        Taking the brace from her again, he opened it and set it gently on top of the bar beside him before he held his hands out to her. "It's going to be a little awkward, but I'm going to have to lift you to get the brace on."  
  
        "Okay." She swept her hair back behind her shoulders and rested her hands over his arms.  
  
        "Alright. One... Two.... Up," She tried to help in him pulling her up, but her hands slipped a little on the sleeves of his button down and she stumbled a little as her still pretty numb legs buckled. He caught her of course, making sure when she lowered back into the chair that she didn't go crashing down, to avoid jolting her spine.  
  
        "Crap, Sorry Carlisle. That was my fault-- My hands..."  
  
        "It's alright, we'll try again." This time, he undid the cuffs of his shirt, rolling the cotton material up just above his elbows.  
  
        "Holy shit, man."  
  
        "What?" He arched a brow at her, stilling over the last fold of his cuff.  
  
        "What do you mean, 'What'? Being all sneaky with the hidden guns."  
  
        Carlisle snorted just a little, once again in a not-quite-way that Carlisle always managed to do things, and one corner of his mouth tilted up. "I spend my free time being an active person."  
  
        "Right, those hiking trips in the mountains on nice days. Lucky you. Sorry, my brain goes to inappropriate humor when I'm nervous..." She shook her head a little, taking hold of his arms again and letting him haul her up. Being upright completely, or nearly completely, was strange. "Anyone ever tell you that you're always really cold?" She commented, trying to ignore the weird pressure that settled in her hips as he wrapped around her to try and keep most of her weight off her feet, which were rather clumsily situated in a general standing position she couldn't really help.  
          
        "Iron deficiency," He replied, carefully wrapping the brace around her. It looked sort of like a cage really, with a lot of straps that he and Jael both lent a hand in doing together. It had to be snug, but not tight enough, and when it finally clipped into place, she gasped a little as her pelvis was straightened into a more natural position she hadn't realized she wasn't holding yet. Her torso felt stiff, she supposed because it was in this case. It was a little alien.  
  
        "Kinda funny, isn't it? A doctor having a medical deficiency?"  
  
        "I'm glad you find my physical shortcomings amusing."  
  
        "Oh, Hell, you know what I meant and it wasn't that. You don't have any shortcomings." She smiled and adjusted her hands wearily, tensing when relaxing her arms made her feel like she might fall.   
  
        "Steady." Carlisle's voice was smooth, sensing the immediate discomfort. "I'm going to help you around to the platform, are you ready?"  
  
        "Yeah," Jael inhaled slowly, breathing out through her mouth. Her grip on his arms was kind of tight, but she forced herself not to death grip him. It was funny, how she couldn't really feel everything, but some of the mechanics still sort of worked. Sort of. It was like a permanent pins and needles sensation. None of the weight was on her body yet, Carlisle still had her, like when a dad held their kids up on their toes to dance. The comparison stung a little and she grew a little more uncomfortable as they shuffled a side step over to the platform. It was on a slight ramp so that it was flush to the floor and easy to shuffle up while still requiring a little effort. Carlisle still went first, backing up onto it slowly and bringing it to the edge. "Alright, Jael. Move your hands to the bars. I've still got you."  
  
        She was used to looking up at people, but looking up again, she felt a little mousy. Jael knew at her full height she had only been maybe a couple inches over five feet, but Carlisle had more than a foot over her, easily. It didn't intimidate her, but it did make her feel a little frail and suddenly her cheerful confidence was out the window again...  
  
        "Jael." Her fingers flinched, unlacing from around his forearms and stretching slowly out to the bars only a couple inches out to either side. "Breathe, love." It was a soothing coax, and she heard more of the British in him, which almost amused her a little. If her chest didn't feel so tight. "Breathe." He repeated, and she finally remembered how to suck in a breath, feeling the pressure ease a little. "I've got you."  
  
        She tried to feel her feet, tried to feel the solid lack of give in the flooring underneath them. He still had her under the arms, above where the brace ended, and she locked her eyes again to his before looking down at her feet, weakly curling her toes through her shoes. "You're going to let go?"  
  
        "No, I'm going to let you take more of the weight though. I have you," He promised, and then he eased his hold on her. She felt the shift in weight immediately. The pressure shot straight up to her hips and into her lower back and she shuddered in a gasp, her arms going rigid as she put her arms to work holding her up. "Okay, Okay, Okay, not good. Tha's not good--" She waited for the frustration, the disappointment, something from him that justified her knee-jerk reaction of panic, it didn't come. 

  
        "Easy, it's ok. It won't feel natural." He pressed gently on her sides, applying enough pressure to imply a tugging motion. He wanted her to move forward. Steadying out her breathing again, she tried to slide her foot forward.  
  
        And moved a quarter of an inch.  
  
        "That's good, Jael. Try again."  
  
        She shuffled her other foot forward. It was clumsier, she couldn't feel that part of her foot yet and her ankle still felt off-kilter. She kept on like this until she'd gone a small enough distance for her arms to be slightly behind her. Now she had to let go to move them. She could just slide them along, but that didn't seem possible with how her hands had gone sticky, nervous from sweat and the cold wooden polish contrasting with each other. Her fingers left the rails and she felt it all buckle down on her. The brace was heavy, she'd felt that before, but it pressed in all the wrong spots with her legs barely able to support any weight and she pitched forward into Carlisle's chest. It wasn't far, he'd stepped into her and lifted her back up all over again and some of it went away.  
  
        "Easy," Carlisle murmured, and she could barely hear it over the quivering of her breathing and the tiny sobs. The embarrassment had welled up so fast and hot in her face that she hadn't even realized she'd started crying. "You're ok. We're going to try again."  
  
        "I can't-- It's not right." She responded too fast, a little hysterical and she was faintly aware of him gently hushing her.  
  
        "Did I let you fall?"  
  
        "I-- No."  
  
        "And I'm not going to. We'll keep going."  
  
        She sniffed loudly and held her breath a moment, gripping the poles again and breathing. In, out. In, out. In.... Out.  
          
        "Ok." She nodded, and tried to toss her hair, to flick her bangs out of her good eye. Carlisle's hand came up and swept it back around to the back of her head before returning to her side and taking a little more of her weight again. "No- Same as last time.... I need to suck it up."  
  
        "I wouldn't say you need that." But he agreed anyways, and eased his hold to the same as it had been before. She shuffled forward in her tiny partial inches again, willing her feet to drag. It was more of an iceberg slow waddle than a walk, and it strained her arms a little, but she was moving... "You're doing great."  
  
        She might have laughed if she had any focus that wasn't being lent to making her body work. "You're full of shit."  
  
        He released her suddenly for a hot second before grabbing her again, and even though it startled her joints, she didn't cry out, but it scared the laugh out of her throat. "You've got it. Forward." He flashed his teeth and she found herself mirroring it, forcing herself to meet him toe to toe in tiny steps. The bar-space and the floor attached to it was only a couple feet, but it took her a good half an hour to work through it and her body hurt, but she felt accomplished. Her body was shaking, and he had to support her full body as they worked to undo the brace. She was breathing hard, and sweating a little like she'd run a marathon, but there was a smile on her face, if an exhausted one.  
  
        "You did very well." Carlisle said, lowering her carefully back into her chair.  
  
        "Thank you, Carlisle." Her hand gripped at his wrist and her face hurt with the way her grin broke across her lips. The breath she took in hurt and rattled around her chest rather uncomfortably, but she knew it would go away soon, and that eventually she wouldn't hurt so much. The prospect of that... She pawed gently at her eyes and slumped in her chair, not even minding when she felt him move her feet back onto the little foot turnups on her chair, and felt him begin to wheel her in another direction. "We're not done yet. If you can sit through it, we need to ice your legs. It will help with the pain. Then we'll heat you back up and send you home for today."  
  
        "Okay." She hummed a little, resting her cheek on her upturned hand and leaning against one of her armrests, content to let him push her to the conditioning room where she knew the hot and cold baths were, and all the paddings he would give her to stick on and wear while she slept.  
  
        "You should find better shoes, something with buckles or laces. We don't want them to slip off or catch up on your feet." He told her softly as they went through the halls.  
  
        "Will do, I'm sure I have something in my closet somewhere..."  
  
        "You know, ballet shoes might be an excellent option. If I recall Alice says there's elastic lacing..."  
  
        "She would be right." Jael mused softly, sighing. "I don't own any pointe slippers anymore... I'd have to order new ones. You have a point though." And it would feel so good to have them on, even if she knew she wouldn't be doing any triple turns anytime soon. She could always trust the feel of satins... "Maybe you are crazy." She added after a moment, reaching back to touch one of the cool hands guiding her chair. "Coaxing the cripple into ballerina shoes."  
  
        "Small comforts are a benefit you should take advantage of, Jael. You'll always be a dancer."  
  
        The simplicity of that statement made her feel warm inside, and a little uncomfortable, so she ducked her head and let her bangs flop into her face.  
  
        "I've embarrassed you." Carlisle made it a statement, not a question, and she slumped even more.  
  
        "I jus'... I guess I'm not used to this."  
  
        He fell quiet after that, not sure how to respond to the idea that her family wasn't supporting her, or if they were that they weren't being openly positive. The last segment of her therapy was uncomfortable, but still went along smoothly for what it was and she left feeling like she'd accomplished a big milestone. Marina congratulated her in her quiet way when she relayed what had happened today, as little as it was. When she got home, she helped make dinner with her parents. Her mother had come back from her trip late last night, so they all pitched in a little. It was uncomfortable and quiet like always, but Jael's mood was too bright for it to really bother her.   
  
        While her mother cleared the dishes, Jael scrolled through her phone, looking online for pointe shoes from some of the dancewear stores that she trusted. She'd almost forgotten how many colors they came in, having always worn the classic blush pink. Now, she played with the idea of buying the pitch, matte black satin. Or even the cherry colored red ones. A suede grey, or a pretty olive...  
  
        "What's this love?" Her father's shadow cast softly over her shoulder and she looked up, dropping her phone back flat onto the table and flushing. "Nothing, jus'... browsin'."  
  
       His eyebrow raised, and he scratched a hand through the unruly shock of blonde. "Is that really the best idea, Jael? These shoes aren't cheap, I don't see why you'd want them right now."  
  
        The wall went up, and she locked her phone. "Yeah, no, I know... I was jus' lookin'. Um, today was a really rough session, I'm gonna go on up to bed..."  
  
        Nodding his head, Jonathan shuffled back awkwardly from the chair, wandering around the edge of the table to where the decanter sat on the worn and polished side stand. As Jael wheeled back from the table, she heard the sharp swat of cloth. Her mother must have whipped him with the dish towel, and she heard her hissing to him.  
  
        "What are you thinking? She was clearly enjoying looking. You don't have to be so practical all the time." That didn't help...  
  
        "Oh please, you don't get to lecture me about a lack or surplus of practicality... How's your advertiser doing?"  
  
        "Fine." It was clear by the hot tone that there was a hidden implication to what he'd said, and it made Jael's head start to throb a little as she rushed herself to the stairs a little, enough that she hit the bottom step with her wheels a little abruptly. She prayed the lift would take her up all the way this time, and thankfully it did, because she was too sore to have fun pulling herself up the steps one at a time tonight. She should have showered, but that didn't appeal to her either, so she went straight into her spare chair, and into the quiet confines of her bedroom. Or, mostly quiet. She could hear her parents bickering downstairs, and the clatter of dishes as her mother aggressively cleaned. At least the kitchen would be spotless.... Her mom was a neat freak. Funny that her first name was actually Patience.  
  
        Jael realizes she still has more reading to do, so she sits at her desk with her book and her soft desk lamp light, and tries to focus on Hemmingway again. God, she hated his work... She couldn't wait until the next unit, when they could pick their own book and do assignments on that...  
  
          
        The hazy grey light filters through the crack in Jael's curtains, and it leaves her equally hazy as her alarm on her nightstand squawks angrily that it's time for her to be up, making her jerk awake and then moan. "Oh fuck...." Her neck feels stiff, and her body still hates her a little. Though, she couldn't feel too upset because she knew she'd earned this pain this time. Most of it anyways. She'd fallen asleep in her chair... "Ooohhh _fuck._ "  
  
        A shower sounded out of the question still, but it doesn't stop her from taking a cold one anyways, to at least wake herself up, and she does manage to halfheartedly scrub her hair before she goes and hunts in her closet for something to wear. Today was a no-makeup day, and her sweatpants desperately called for her. So.... Forks was in for a rude awakening when the ginger showed up looking a bit like a corpse. A hoodie then, too. Thank God for cold weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally another update! I'm so happy to see a few fans now and then with this fic. And for those of you who have been sweet enough to leave comments, add to favorites, or leave some form of Kudos, bless you guys. It really helps drive a person to actually hear some feedback. I also appreciate your patience with my inconsistence. It means a lot. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as you have previous ones!  
> Much love, Carrie


	5. 4. TREATS FROM A TRICK

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today. Jael and Jasper find themselves acting a little strange, ending a shitty day on a less shitty note.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just over fifteen pages. I hope that makes up for my really bad update schedule. Really bad schedule as in I have no schedule. I wish I could say it was a valid excuse of live gets crazy, but for a while I Had no motivation. I know this work isn't perfect, for a while I was questioning if I should really even do this one, or my other two fics. But I started making myself work and cranked out the rest of the chapter finally and here it is! As always, I appreciate any favorites, Kudos, or commentary left on this work. It really does help keep me going to know people stick with me even though I'm slow to produce.
> 
> Much love, Jasperr

  The sense of achievement faded a little by the time she was dropped off at school. She didn't ache quite so much now, but she was tired. It was strangely humid today while still being all misty and chilly, so her hair puffed up as unruly as ever. She tried to cram most of it into her hoodie for as long as she could stand it, but then it trapped all the heat around her face, and when the wispy baby curls at the back of her neck began to stick to her nape and tickle her, she gave in and pulled the hood down. Her center part had a particularly stubborn fragment of hair that drooped into her forehead and over her right eye, determined to annoy her. She couldn't see out of it, but something touching her blindspot was irritating as all Hell. Well... not as all Hell. There were worse things to make up Hell for her. Lately, her Hell consisted of Lauren and Samantha. And the ragtag group of nerds and jocks that insisted on having her sit with them at lunch or during their break period...

* * *

         Jasper had ended up changing his coat, because the one he'd left on the couch smelled a lot like a certain woman whose name was beginning to come up a lot lately, and needless to say he was starting to become a little distressed by how much that bothered him. Let alone the fact that he'd found specific names to describe the way said scent smelled to him. Would it kill Carlisle to at least leave his damn lab coat at the hospital???  
  
        "It won't help you any." The slightly rough voice of his bronze-locked brother came from behind him as he passed by, shrugging into his own light jacket. Glaring in a regular, moody adolescent way, Jasper pulled on his grey coat. It was too heavy for the humidity level, but his favorite zip up smelled like a bittersweet mix of black licorice and walnut underneath the sterile hospital smells and Carlisle's unusually warm for a vampire scent. "It's not just the coat. He's spent enough time with her that her scent is rubbing off on him, period. You're already used to it, you're just complaining about it. Suck it up."   
  
       "I still don't understand his special interest in her."  
  
        "It's Carlisle." Esme spoke this time, winding the scarf around her neck neatly. "He never needs a reason to find a desire to help someone."  
  
        "This is different."  
          
        "It's not different, you're just being moody because her scent appeals to you." She sounded strangely amused with the usual softness of her voice. Moody.... Moody???  
  
        "I'm not moody. I'm in an unnecessary state of heightened agony."  
  
        "You're acting the age you look." Edward shouldered him a little, picking up the backpack he had with supplies he rarely even touched.   
  
        "As opposed to someone who looks like he got held back several years?" Jasper retorted, one corner of his mouth tilting up.  
  
        "Yeah, Yeah, fuck you."  
  
        "Boys--"  
  
        "Sorry Esme." Both voices replied, and she ushered them in the direction of the door, picking up her keys so she could drop off some things for Carlisle that he'd forgotten. As organized as her husband was, he tended to leave things behind a lot.  
  
        "I'm not too happy about Carlisle giving her all this extra attention either." Rosalie said as she came down the stairs, fingers swiftly buttoning up her cardigan. "What's the deal with her?"  
  
        "There's no deal, she needs help."  
  
        "Alice, I know what Carlisle helping people because he cares versus-- whatever... this is, looks like."  
  
        "And I know the future, so, there." Alice smiled her cherub-like little smile, tucking her hairband into her hair to keep some of the short spikes at bay. "So we should all suck it up and stop worrying." Her hand came up, stopping Jasper on his way through the door. When he stopped, he turned and rose an eyebrow.  
  
        "What?"  
  
        "Stop being so grumpy."  
  
        "Wh-- Alice, I'm not-"  
  
        "Yes you are." She chirped, and then pulled a candy bar out from her purse and held it out to him, confusing him further.   
  
        "First of all, what do you expect me to do with that? Second, what the Hell is a _Kilbeggan_?"  
  
        "It's chocolate." She said, like it was a stupid question, and she waved it a little until he took it. "Put it in your bag, you'll need it later."  
  
        "Why are you doing this to me?" Jasper asked her, dropping the candy bar into his bag before zipping it and shouldering it.  
  
        "I'm not doing anything _to_ you, Jas'. Now come on, we're gonna be late if we don't go soon." She checked her reflection in the shiny metal frame of a painting before looking back at him.  
  
        "You go ahead. I'll take my bike today." Alice grinned, not the reaction he'd at all been suspecting.  
  
        "Well, ok. No speeding though, you don't want to get another ticket."  
  
        "Yeah... Sure." He watched her go, pulling the keys to his Ducati from his pocket and starting through the garage where his bike was parked, stopped in the doorway, and sniffed at his collar.  
  
        "Damn it!" Growled and shrugged back out of it, trading in for the leather one he hadn't worn since he'd last ridden his bike some time ago, grabbed his backpack by the top handle and went to his bike.

* * *

  
        The meds she took sometimes made her a bit nauseated, but by the time she got through her first few classes, she was _starving_ and looking forward to lunchtime. Even if she had to cave on her heavily vegetarian diet preference and order the slightly soggy pepperoni pizza with it's plastic-y, neon orange cheese grease. Luckily for her, though when she made it to the cafeteria after a makeup test ran late, she could see they still had enough at the salad bar to scrounge up a salad. Her stomach growled, reminding her how ravenous she was and she coasted up to the bar, getting her food together in record time for the fact that she didn't have all the trays memorized yet and so she had to figure out what salad bar item was in what tray.  
  
        Jael skipped the milk, and the juice, it was always half frozen anyways. Paid the extra dollar twenty-five for a soda, and set everything in her lap. Now she just had to find a place to sit. She wasn't sure she wanted to listen to Mike and Tyler get into it today over their usual crap that really meant nothing... Oof, she had a headache once again, coming in full force. Rubbing a hand briefly over her eyes, not something she could usually do with how much makeup she wore, she took a small breath and started to wheel her way back into the center area of the cafeteria, hoping to score an empty table so she wouldn't have to sit at her usual spot. Glancing at the clock, she saw she didn't have very long before lunch was even over. Damn. She really needed to start packing her own lunch...  
  
        She rounded a slightly more rambunctious table, only for one of the arm rests of her chair to crash into someone's thigh. She heard a squeal, and a clatter as her tray slid off her lap with the jolt, but what she wasn't expecting was a thick and wet liquid to come dripping onto her hair, and down her chest. She didn't like unknown things splashing onto her, so for a moment she was paralyzed, but then her brain was able to register what was dripping down the bridge of her nose was chocolate milk and her panic turned into a slow sort of mortification.  
          
        "Oh my God, what is wrong with you?" Lauren's voice got shrill when she was angry. Apparently she'd chosen to et up and walk to a trash can just as Jael was coming around. And now her lunch was all over the floor, and her sweatshirt was soggy in places and covered in someone else's salad dressing... And her hair! It would take forever to get herself clean later today. Having hair that was curly like hers, didn't mean she could just pop into the gym showers no one used and get it out in a minute or two.  
  
        "You should watch where you're going, you're lucky nothing got on me, these clothes are expensive."  
  
        Her fingers gripped the railing on her wheels. "Me!? I was jus' tryin' t' find a place t' sit. You should watch where you're goin', luv."  
  
        "Love?" She snorted, casting her icy eyes down on her, "Ew, don' tell me you're into me or something."  
  
        "Don't flatter yerself, I'm bein' polite." She wiped the milk from her face, flicking it off her fingers. " _You_ should watch where you're going."  
  
        "I was. Apparently you either don't know how to drive that damn thing, or you're blind in both eyes and can't see where you're going."  
  
        "The fuck did you say?" Her voice sounded hoarse for a moment, tight with anger mostly, but also that mortification that had built up, making her face burn with that blotchy red blush. She knew Lauren had a mean streak wider than her size three ass, but to hear it come out of her mouth still surprised her. She sounded like the stereotypical, self entitled white girl people scripted in every teen drama movie ever.  
  
        Lauren leaned down, evening out their heights. It was quieter in the cafeteria now, not totally silent, people were still whispering. Wondering if a fight would break out. "Listen to me, you little nobody. Everyone thinks you're the shiny new girl, though that's lessened now that the Cullens have come. The Pretty ones always get the real glory. People like Natural that's pretty. Unlike you. That's why you're here, covered in crap, and I'm wearing this to send some new headshots to an agent whose been skulking around here. So you'd better learn-"  
  
        "Excuse me." A voice cut in, and Jael didn't turn to see who it was, her head immediately going into a downwards position because of the sharpness in it, and the way Lauren had paled over. Until a handkerchief was held down in front of her, under her face. It wasn't the regular kind with the complex print on it, but it was a plain cloth, thick and nicer than most in a pretty blue. Looking up slowly, she took it, dabbing at some of the wet spot son her face, and the strand of hair that stuck to her forehead now. He sort of smiled... sort of, though he looked just as uncomfortable as he always did. It dropped away as soon as he straightened back to his full height and looked at Lauren, who seemed to shrink a little. "You know, Lauren. That bag is a knock-off, my sister owns the real one. And your roots are showing, you might want to get that fixed."  
  
        "I-- No one asked you-"  
  
        He stepped just a hair closer, even with the distance, he had to tip his head down to look at her square. "Walk away now, Lauren."  
  
        Her eyes widened for a moment, big and doe-like, before narrowing back to their natural state of hazy cat slits. And then Lauren, her friend Samantha and some boy she didn't know the name of, fluttered off. And then the bell rang. Jael's eyes close. Damn.  
  
        "Hey."  
  
        She heard it just over all the shuffling of students tossing their trays and getting ready to leave for their next class, and she opened her eyes again. "Shit, here--" She offered the handkerchief back to him, and though he took it, he dabbed cautiously at the top of her head, she assumed to help soak up some of the milk. "Um, thanks. For stepping in."  
  
        "Lauren has a stick up her ever since this modelling agent came 'round. Or so I heard." He said, sounding mildly agitated while being indifferent, and incredibly from the south. She hadn't been able to hear it before, with most of heir conversations being a minimal, mumbled few words.   
  
        "Lucky her." She muttered, sniffing a little. She was trying to relax, now that the attention was off her, and that left her embarrassment to simmer back down to uncomfortable tears. Not big ones, just enough to make her eyes glassy.  
  
        "We should go... Don't want to be late or anything. I'm sure someone can find a bag for your sweatshirt..."  
  
        "Yeah. Probably. Thanks, again." She peeled it up over her head and bunched it up on her lap for the time being.  
  
        "I'll... see you in art."  
  
        "Oh, yeah. Sure." She glanced around the empty cafeteria. Or, mostly empty. The blonde one, the one she assumed was the sister he'd mentioned, stood watching them with steely eyes and her arms crossed. Impatient. She watched Jasper turn, to walk over to her, but then he paused again and so, Jael paused too. He slid his bag from his shoulder, and opened it up, pulling something rectangular out and turning back, offering it to her.  
  
        "Here. It's not food-food. But you should eat something." He spoke softly, kind of glanced over her head while he held it out. Jael took it, slowly, and inspected the wrapper. She smiled, despite herself, laughing a little. "A Kilbeggan? I'll be damned... Do they even sell these here?"  
  
        "It was Alice, not me. She gave it to me this morning."  
  
        "You should keep it. They're damn good."  
  
        "I'm not really a chocolate person." He sort of smiled again. "Just eat it. Don't let Mr. Banner see you come in with it." And with that, he looked back over his shoulder to hear Rosalie calling after him, and the two left. On the way out the door, he subtly tossed the handkerchief into the trash can.  
  
        Jael opened the wrapped and bit into the liqueur filled dark chocolate with a small, satisfied moan, and wheeled her way to science as fast as she could while stealing bites of candy that would help tide her over through the misery of two more classes. Or, one more, and then an art class where she could hopefully salvage the end of her day.

* * *

        Art finally came around, the last class of her day, and her favorite to say the least. She was still hungry, but not entirely ravenous at least for having gotten a little sugar in her. She could make something soon enough when she was home, anyways. Thankfully, she'd been able to get to Science on time too, so it hadn't turned out too terribly, save for maybe her hair smelling and feeling a little gross. She was going to have to treat it again anyways, so at least her anger and her embarrassment had simmered. It didn't stop her from giving Lauren a glare on her way in though. It was pretty empty in the class today. A bunch of kids had some kind of flu going around, thankfully Jael seemed to have missed it this week, but she wasn't going to complain about only a handful of the art students being here. It made it quiet, and it felt less crowded. She liked that.  
  
        She grabbed her portrait folder from one of the cubbies, going to the usual table she'd sat at, where Alice and Jasper usually occupied. Jasper sat a bit closer to the table this time, still with his chair flipped around. It seemed so casual for a man who was so stiff all the time, but the photographer in her itched to get a photo of him slouched like that, spidery but attractive limbs folded and sprawled in a way that was casual but also kind of elegant. They were all like that, his family. Kind of proper, without intending to be. It was intimidating the less you knew them, but Jael knew them a tiny bit.  
  
        Opening up her folder, she pulled the portrait out and a few tissues from a little pouch, tucking one into her brace and the other set aside for a little shading help. It was cheating, using her fingers to shade and she knew technically you weren't supposed to, because the oil in your fingers could make the image look splotchy and dirty, but she did it sparingly, most of the time she was pretty good with the weight of her pencil. Jael could hear Alice chatting away animatedly about something, but she wasn't fully listening, focusing on the strokes the tip of her pencil made on the page. Her camera wasn't charged, so the battery only lasted a little while longer, which meant she found herself having to look at Jasper more to get the basic features down. Shading was all unrelated to the subject, so long as she got the shapes of his face down.   
  
        It was beginning to annoy him, the way an itch steadily grew to be more and more irritating until you gave in and scratched it. Not just the burn in his throat, but the anger he'd felt over Lauren's pretty petty adolescent bullshit. That have hadn't thought about the fact that he was going to help her, just that he'd gone and done it. And to make Lauren lose her nerve like he did. He didn't use his gift that often. Not wanting to risk calling any attention to himself if one person ended up noticing it. A miracle no one needed.  
  
        She could steadily feel the heat creeping up her neck though, because every time she looked at him, he was staring at her. Like, really staring. It didn't creep her out, but she could swear it was like he was trying to figure something out and she had something to do with it. What that could be, she couldn't possibly know, because what could she have anything to do with that was of any interest to him? Finally, she set her pencil down and swiveled her head back up, raising both her eyebrows slowly. "Awright. What?"  
  
        Jasper blinked a few times then, then looked down at his arms which were still folded across the desk, like he'd gone somewhere else completely. It seems he'd done some drawing, though she hadn't seen him move very much from the time he'd sat down, but his paper was mostly hidden under the folder, so she couldn't see how his portrait of Alice had turned out. It was probably perfect, she thought with just a hint of bitterness. His handwriting was old fashioned and impeccable looking, and he was obviously good with his hands. And Alice was artsy, and she was pretty sure everyone had said they were a _thing_ so they probably did it together all the time.  
  
        "Natural suits you." He said finally, leaving her utterly confused, until she remembered her spat with Lauren in the cafeteria earlier today. The jab she'd made at her, for being a redhead, with freckles, and frizzy curls.  
  
        Jael snorted softly, pushing at her hair, and grimacing a little when she felt parts of it that were still sticky. Wiping her hand on her pants, she replied to him. "Yeah, right. Look, I'm all Irish an' proud an' what have you, but I looked like a zombie today. An' she has a point. _Real_ redheads, we ain't that hot."  
  
        "There's nothing natural about that girl, so her point is invalid." Alice sniffed, not looking up from her portrait. Her hands moved in fast strokes, and unsteady as that seemed for a realistic portrait, the lines she was producing were smooth and dainty. "Her hair comes from a bottle and her boobs are fake."  
  
        Jael placed her hand across her mouth, trying to muffle a not so subtle chortle, to quiet the hiccupping snorts before they could start. "Tell us how you really feel."  
  
        "Well, she isn't wrong." She saw Jasper's brow furrow, like he felt uncomfortable having to agree with the statement for the nature of it. "Besides, it's not her place to demean someone like she has no shortcomings of her own."  
  
        "Yeah well, water off my back. it didn't bother me any."  
  
        "I didn't figure it did." One corner of his mouth did that thing again, that not-quite-but-still a smile, and he glanced up at her through her lashes. It made her severely uncomfortable, for the fact that her stomach decided to twist her tongue into a knot for a second. "You don't seem like the type to be bothered by a thing that trivial. Given how much you're trying to overcome."  
  
        He said it in the same rather casual way he always tended to sound. It contrasted the way his posture could often be. The tightness in his voice wasn't there as much. She could have sworn his eyes were brown, but looking at them now, they were this honeyed color. Not a hazel exactly. Not topaz, that bridged into Orange more usually. Ocher, she remembered suddenly, a yellow toned mineral with almost an oxide to it. Being such a color snob and never seeing something quiet like that in eyes, she felt like she could just stare at them forever.   
  
        Shit, she actually was too. Clearing her throat, she stared back down at her paper and added to the portrait a little, to put the staring to good use at least. He had a little bit of scaring on his forehead. Sharp jaw, and cheekbones, but a sort of soft face, she realized, making a few adjustments. He certainly looked older than a lot of the other boys around their school, but maybe it was all in those eyes. They seemed older than the rest of his face. Every now and then when he was with their burlier brother, at lunch, or in the hall, she'd catch a crooked flash of teeth, or the dimples he apparently had. Cherub faced, every damn one of them. Like slightly devilish, pale angels. They should be the ones getting followed around by model agents. Not Lauren.  
  
        "You're not gonna give me any of that "Women who don't wear makeup are more beautiful" spiel in a stupid attempt to make me feel better, are you?"  
  
        "No." He shrugged his shoulders, watching her again as she scribbled across her page with purpose. "Are you always this defensive when someone's trying to be nice to you?" The words were out before he could think about making the jab, his lack of a filter winning over as usual. Jael's head shot back up again and she stared at him with a wide eyed look and sputtered a little. "I'm not defensive--"  
  
        "Oh, yes you are. Your accent gets especially fun when you're agitated." Dare she say, he almost smirked, too. Her cheeks hurt. He was enjoying challenging her a little. Her snark was.. fun. She was lively. Her energy, her response to him. He was pretty sure he shouldn't be enjoying that, he should be unsettled by it. But he wasn't right now.  
  
        "Since when do you talk so much?"  
  
        "I'm told I don't do it enough."  
  
        "Yeah, well, I'm starting to miss the silence a little." Her tone was, of course defensive. Annoyingly enough it was obvious to her own ears, and she felt bad for the sharpness that came with it. "Really, though. Why are you suddenly interested in talking to me?"  
  
        He was quiet for a minute, thinking it seemed. She wondered if her bitchy response had hurt his feelings.  
  
        Jasper perplexed again by the way he felt a wall fly up between them, and radio silence on her emotions. He couldn't tell if she was actually offended or not, given his lack of social experience it the last several decades. "I don't know." He said finally, after a moment longer of hesitating with his lips parted. He leaned forward a little, the narrow table not giving them much space, which made he burning in his throat flare a little. "Does it bother you?"  
  
        Jael watched him, glanced at Alice who was watching them quietly and worried the inside of her cheek between her teeth a little. "I don't know." She echoed, after an even longer pause. "I don't... Hate it. And what you did was nice earlier." She shifted a little. "Your sister doesn't like me, what's her deal?"  
  
        "She hates humanity."  
  
        "Ah..." Her brow furrowed then, as it took her a moment to hear a bit of humor in his voice. Like he'd made a joke. Which, for some reason this really threw her off, and she stared at him, the question was obvious in her face.  
  
        "What?"  
  
        "Nothing, I just... I'm not used to hearing you make jokes, or sound humored. I couldn't even get you to smile for my portrait sample photo."  
  
        "Ouch. I give off a certain impression, don't I?"  
  
        "You, and most of your siblings. The only ones who don't seem to be a bit bipolar are Emmett and Alice. I think Emmett's excuse is a surplus of testosterone, and Alice is too tiny to have a mean bone in her pretty but birdy little body-"  
  
        "Hey! I'm still right here."  
  
        "And I could bench press you above my head if I wanted to." She heard Jasper chuckle just a little, under his breath, and some of her defensiveness went away.  
  
        "You don't have much of a filter, do you?" He asked, and she rose an eyebrow again. "No offense, Hale. But you don't have one at all..."  
  
        The rest of the period went a little like this. Alice dragging them into some conversation where Jael sometimes had a hard time keeping up, and then occasionally her and Jasper quipping back and forth at each other a little. He was actually kind of funny. Sharp tongue, almost but not quite softened by that good southern boy mannerism of his. Alice seemed happy to see the two of them getting along, not that Jael or Jasper realized she'd been hoping for this to happen. At least with his efforts, he could distract himself from his thirst, thinking bout her as a person with a little bit of charm rather than some kind of mouth watering meal that tempted his control. He was glad to get a smile out of her too, compared to how heavy she'd felt coming into the lunch period she didn't even get to eat during.  
  
        That shouldn't concern him so much, he thought about that again as they cleaned up. How she's feeling, or making her smile. It bothered him almost as much as her scent bothered him. Bothered him even more the way Alice kept looking at him, and that she kept putting him into these situations. He shouldered his bag, shrugged into his jacket and brought his and Alice's folders back to the cubby, waiting for the other students to file out. The parking lot was only a few feet from the art room, it being a classroom on the outskirts of the campus.  
  
        "Emmett and Rosalie are waiting for me, I'm gonna go. See you at home?" Alice brushed her arm over his and he nodded, watching her leave with the flood of students itching to get out and be done with the day.  
  
        "You have something to do after?" He heard Jael asked, and he turned, realizing she still hadn't cleaned up. He'd begun to notice that by now, she worked until the bell when it came to art class. History, she tended to pack up early as she could without the teacher noticing. English, she worked close to the minute. A little bit the opposite of him, but he had a much easier time with History for obvious reasons.  
  
        "No, I don't. Just waiting for people to clear out."  
  
        "Ah. Avoiding the adolescent rush?"  
  
        "Easier that way on a bike." He replied, shrugging his shoulders. They looked particularly broad in that jacket, the at the waist cut lengthened out his torso as opposed to the slightly too long hoodie or the grey pea coat jacket that looked old fashioned. She really hated that she noticed what kind of coats he wore, blamed it on her overly observational habits. It was just an artists' thing, yeah? Yeah, of course. She couldn't help but perk up a little at the mention of a bike, tucking her folder into its rightful cubby. "You drive a motorcycle?"  
  
        "I do. It's a Ducati."  
  
        "No shit?" She smiled a little. "Really? What color?"  
  
        "Silver."  
  
        "Oof, Fingerprints." She cringed just a little.  
  
        "You'd be surprised." He pushed up off the table. "Top coat is good on it... Do you know bikes?"  
  
        "Yeah, I'm a little bit of a grease monkey. Jus' a bit. Not like, the full mechanics but the outside stuff, 'r minor tune ups." She played with a stray thread on her top, shrinking back in on herself a tiny bit, almost sheepish. "Gonna own one someday."  
  
        "Why do you make it sound like that's a crazy thing to say?"  
  
        "'Cause I can't even walk."  
  
        "You will though."  
  
        "Maybe." She shrugged, iced over all over again. "That's what we're hopin'..."  
  
        "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."  
  
        "To what? Not walk on eggshells?" Jael smiled just a little. "Funny someone with no filter apologizes for being positive."  
  
        "Yeah, I guess it is."  
  
        "Right well... I better go. My ride's probably waiting. Drive safely on that bike of yours."  
  
Jasper watched her go out the door, adjusted his bag on his shoulder and was about to leave when he noticed her glasses that she wore on and off were still on the table. Picking them up, he went out and saw her still waiting out front, just as a slightly run down but well loved truck pulled up.  
  
        "You left these," He called before she could go up to the truck, bringing them up to her. "Might want to keep better track of them."  
  
        "Oh- Shit, thanks." Jael reached her hand out, her fingers brushing his as she took her glasses by the edges of the frame. His hands were freezing, making her jerk back a little. He seemed to as well, his hand disappearing into his pocket, where he awkwardly slumped his shoulders and looked away and into the window of the truck at the young woman waiting with her door halfway open. "Um-- thanks." She repeated again, feeling a little uncomfortable with Marina watching her. "I'll... see you tomorrow." This time she waved a little, before turning and riding up to the side of the truck. Marina got out once she was there, letting her get into the seat before putting her chair in the bed of the truck.  
  
        She got back in, letting the truck idle while the sleek silver bike pulled out of the lot and down the road, a bit opposite of town. "So, he's cute."  
  
        "Jesus, Marina, what??"  
  
        "Well, he is!" She rose an eyebrow, glancing at her as she pulled out and onto the road. "That's one of the Cullen boys everyone talks about, isn't he?"  
  
        "Technically he's a Hale, actually." She mumbled, chewing on the side of her thumb as she looked out the window.  
  
        "You know, most people say it's a bad idea to hang around them. People on the reservation have all this bad juju about them. Some ancestral thing."  
  
        "Most people, as in you don't think that?"  
  
        "Please. I've always felt alienated from the reservation. It's why I moved to Seattle, gave you guys where I used to live. What's his deal?"  
  
        "Deal? There is no deal."  
  
        "Boy on a motorcycle who comes out late with you? There's a deal." She smirked, and Jael batted her arm lightly before going back to looking stubbornly out the window.  
  
        "There's no deal," She repeated finally, when her blush settled. "He's just someone I have a lot of classes with."  
  
        "Is he nice?"  
  
        "He's... not so bad."


	6. WEEDS

         _December_ _19th, 2003  
  
It's that time of the year again. I just have to get through today, and we'll at least be able to go on break, where I can avoid this holiday shit like the plague. If I see one more snowman on a homework sheet, I might have to stab someone with a pen-_  
  
 **SNAP!**  
  
        The tip of her pencil snapped and not a moment later, Jael's alarm went off. Quickly hitting the snooze button. She'd been up long before then, her wild curls ironed down to a sleek, flat length, and her makeup done as it always was. She went a little, grudgingly, festive just to seem like less of a grouchy bitch, by making her cat eye Red instead of Black. It was as far as she was about to go today, more than likely. Tucking her glasses into the top of her shirt, Jael moved from the new-to-her chair she'd bought for her desk, to her wheel chair. She coasted by her closet, where her bag sat and hauled it up into her lap, before moving out into the short hall that marked the end of the upstairs. She stopped short of the staircase and stared down the length of it thoughtfully.  
  
        "Bad idea, luv." She murmured to herself, the section of her hair that was usually the loose curl that liked to hang on her forehead now falling past her nose as it fell forward. She should have thought about the hair. It had been a sort of on a whim thing, she'd not done it since the night she'd first gone into the hospital, because her sister had insisted on her trying it at least once many years before that and she'd ended up liking it. _Not that the curls aren't really great, but look how long and pretty it is like this! It's a nice alternative once in a while._ She'd said. And Elisiah had had an excellent point, it did make a nice alternative. But that was when her hair was a shorter crop of curls, rather than gathering at her waist, and in this case, pooling in her lap a little. It was amazing how much length her hair lost in its natural state. Maybe she was overdue for a cut...  
  
        Small dilemma of hair aside, stairs were a problem she wasn't about to try and deal with yet. The motor lift didn't stick on the way down, making her feel like maybe today could be an ok day if it wasn't already going to shit. Using the wall and then the back of the sofa as a crutch to shuffle her way along, she made it to the end of the loveseat and was able to collapse a little more gracefully into her chair. It was still early, so Jael checked the front door for the usual purse and key set that marked whether or not her parents had left yet. Seeing neither, she went to the kitchen and fixed a couple eggs for herself into a small omelet. She'd gotten good about timing simple things like eggs, even if she couldn't see too well at all, and threw it onto some wheat toast with a little cheese, leaving the dishes in the sink to do later. She was sure they'd still be there when she returned home.  
  
        Proceeding to snarf down the sandwich as fast as she could while still tasting what she was eating, she awkwardly managed to wheel herself back into the front hall with one hand, and was done by the time she reached the door to let herself out. Brushing a few crumbs from her lap and touching up her black lipstick, it wasn't long before Marina's truck pulled up to take her to school.

* * *

  
        History and English turned out to be a little bit fun, sure she inevitable got sucked into a little bit of generic Christmas bull crap, but she was now allowed to do a presentation for one class and a paper for the other of the real origins of Christmas and the traditional Pagan practices associated with it that wasn't due till a week after they came back from break. Both would be incredibly easy for her so she wasn't even bummed out. She spent her free period in the empty cafeteria, outlining some of her work. There were a few other stragglers around, though she didn't know if they were trying to cut class or if they actually had a free period. Jael didn't care, so long as they left her alone. Having a free period in the middle of her school day extended her break and was a blessing she made good use of. To either wind down or catch up before she had to finish out her last few classes. She was by a window, giving her a view of a section of the parking lot. Man, this place was small, wasn't it...  
  
        Her Ipod turned onto one of her Cranberries' albums and Animal Instinct came on. It was one she particularly liked, so she took a break from writing in her notebook and instead just turned her head so she could look out the window.  
  
 _"Ey, feck!"_ Her pen flew out of her hand and rolled under one of the trash bins when she jerked. Despite the exclamation, her throat thankfully choked off the volume at the fact that _Jasper was standing in the window frame now, staRING AT HER.  
  
        _None of the few in the cafeteria were looking at her, Thank God. What the fuck was he doing?  
  
        Her having noticed him seemed to make him startle a little, as much as she ever saw him startle, which was next to nothing. But, then Alice was coming up onto the sidewalk from the direction of the parking lot and taking his arm to pull him away. She hadn't seen him this morning in her first two classes, so that added to the shock of suddenly seeing him standing out there with that really intense look. She could see why Lauren had made the snide comment she had before once, as fucked up as it had been, saying that he looked strung out. But part of that was the way his hair stuck up on end somewhere. it looked like it was supposed to be naturally curly, but it had been cut at an odd length and the gel really wasn't helping... It made him look permanently unkempt and not in the attractive way. Not that it was any of her business, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with his hair.  
  
        It bothered her more that she'd been looking at him enough to analyze his natural hair type. It was just a coincidence. Because she had naturally curly hair. Now she was down a pen and up a near heart-attack. Christ on a stick! Letting out a sigh, she decided then to pack her things and use the extra few minutes she had to get to her Math class early. A little torture in the form of Algebra and then she could eat and breeze through her last two classes... easy peasy.  
  
        Of course, that wouldn't be the case exactly, because she ran into Lauren Mallory on the way there. She was wearing this heinous little Santa hat headband that was annoyingly feminine with it's mistletoe bow tip and pink fluff instead of white trim, keeping her hair back from her face and matching the plush red sweater she wore over black leggings and a horrendously bright pink scarf. How did girls manage to look good in oversized sweaters, but Jael looked like a baby drowning in mommy's clothes? She was in the way of the door she needed to go through. The math teacher wasn't in yet, there were a few other students who probably had free periods in early that she could see past Lauren and her gaggle of fancily decorated she-elves.  
  
        Maybe if she was lucky, she thought in an obnoxious and roundabout kind of way, that the "Holiday spirit" would leave Lauren in less of a bitchy mood. All December, Lauren and her plastic-painted Barbie babes had set up kissing booths, candy grams, both of which were incredibly popular. To Jael's annoyance, she had to hear about how sweet it was of them to be doing this, since the money would go to buying toys over break to give to the fire station. Then, they'd donate the toys to kids who didn't have any come Christmas morning. A sweet gesture, sure. Jael could agree with that part. What she didn't agree with was knowing Lauren did this goodie goodie shit to bask in the attention. Yeah, it'll be so sweet, until several kids end up with fucking Mono. Teenagers are so stupid, do they never learn anything?  
  
        "Hey, Lauren you'n your gals are in the way, could I slide through?" She asked, politely, even as she manhandled the tinsel that had come from fuck knows where that had wrapped up in one of her wheels and threw it behind her.   
  
        "Someone's in a bad mood." Came the obnoxiously amused response, and Lauren's little Krampus slaves had room to snicker, counting the bills they'd gathered from kisses and candy and putting it into envelopes neatly.  
  
        Ooooof course not.  
  
        "Not really, my day's actu'lly been pretty good so far, I'm jus' not much of a Christmas person, now please let me get t' my classroom."  
  
        "Not a Christmas person, huh? You really are a grouch. Or maybe I should say _Grinch_."  
  
        Jael had a moment to weigh her options. This was like a bad soap opera, only with teenagers. Soap Opera Jael, being the angry foreign woman, would punch Lauren in her regrettably pretty face and hopefully bruise one of her bright, catty eyes. But, Soap Opera Jael wasn't in high school, the last day before Christmas break. Hitting Lauren Mallory would only land her trouble and ruin her small good girl streak she'd been collecting. She'd have to be crafty.  
  
        Her eyes noticed Lauren's tinny mistletoe bow on her ugly headband, and her mouth tilted into a smirk.  
  
        Well, she was going to get a soda from the machine after science to go with her lunch, but this would be a worthy sacrifice. And, one she couldn't get in trouble seeing as Lauren had put herself in a predicament where Jael could cover her own ass and she couldn't say a damn thing about it. "Yeah," She sighed a little, "I guess maybe I am a little grumpy. I _Should_ get into the Holiday spirit, shouldn't I?"  
  
        Inside of the pocket in her skirt, Jael was able to easily pluck free the two dollars she'd neatly folded up inside, curling it in her fingers which then wrapped around Lauren's ugly, woven scarf. It was a quick yank on the offending garment that forced Lauren down to her height and Jael craned out of her chair just a little, tipping her face and leaving black lip imprint diagonally across Lauren's pink-glossed lips.  
  
        She was rewarded, not just with Lauren's shriek, but several sounds of shock from her little group. Absolute Horror if she had to say so herself. Dropping the bills into one of the folds of her scarf, she let her go and watched her stumble back and hit the lockers. Were it not for those, she'd likely have tripped over her own stiletto-clad Bambi legs and fallen flat on her ass, which in itself made having to kiss Lauren all the more satisfying. "Merry Christmas, Lauren." She winked and wiped gently at her lip line before coasting around the group and inside.  
  
        She could see the one she knew was Emmett, the bigger, burly Cullen, on the back counter in the room as she wheeled her way to where she had a table that had no chairs to get in the way of her wheel chair. His book was on the table, but he'd occupied himself with some kind of sports magazine for now. He looked up and smirked just a little when she came by, but didn't say anything to her, and she was pretty sure he couldn't have seen what happened so she just assumed he'd heard about Jasper scaring the Holy bejesus out of her earlier on their way to their respective classes. It made sense, with the way they always grouped together except when they were required not to.  
  
        The feel-good sensation faded by the time the bell rang, signaling people had five minutes to get to their classroom before class started and  as a few people filed in and whispered to each other when they passed by, Jael started to regret the sweet dose of public humiliation just a little.  
  
        As everyone was getting settled in, and the teacher began to talk a little bit while he got out his own things, she heard a shuffle and out of the corner of her eye, saw Emmett sit next to her.  
  
 _Hshhhhh_  
  
        Heard the sound of his sleeve sliding across the table as he leaned over to her, but didn't register it as him invading her space until she heard the whisper in her ear, making her drop her palms to the table and jolt a tiny bit.  
  
 _"Did you seriously kiss Lauren Mallory?"_  
  
        Jael's eyes slide shut slowly and the tension in her shoulders slumps. Heat crept up her neck. "Hhhh…."

* * *

        By lunchtime, Jael's "Incident" had apparently travelled quite a bit. Small place, nosy people, she should have expected it and she was perfectly secure in all aspects of her identity, more or less, her sexuality certainly wasn't a problem. But the attention wasn't really something she'd planned. Maybe she _should_ have punched Lauren Mallory...   
  
        Being a little bit of a coward, Jael ate her lunch in her bio classroom, since they had regular tables and not lab tables and the teacher didn't mind. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if his pity on her had been because he'd heard what she'd done. Throughout it, she kept her head down and worked on the study sheet she'd have to look over while on break, for a test when they came back. It was easy enough, she was a master with Bio, and would ace it easy enough. But she was afraid to tune in to any conversations around her, knowing Lauren's friend Samantha was somewhere in the room.   
  
At the end of science, the teacher had a couple students hand back the practice tests they'd done last period so they could study that too, and when Jael's got her back, she recognized the double stitched English gloves to be Rosalie's. She expected her to let go of the test when Jael grabbed it, but she didn't, so Jael looked up.   
  
        Her expression was still as icy as ever, but she took a moment looking over her face before releasing the test and looking away with a disinterested face. "You should have punched her." She told Jael finally, in a rather nonchalant way, continuing down the row.   
  
_ "Hhh…"  
  
         _ Quickly packing up her things and trying not to be mortified, Jael was the first one out when the bell rang and towards her art class on the edge of campus. She passed Lauren on her way in, who stared at her, but didn't say anything. She wasn't wearing her headband anymore.   
  
        Sitting at her usual corner of the table, she pulled out her art folder and went back to coloring one of the art drills. It was nothing complicated, replicating a still art study of a piece of fruit. Jael's was a small apple, and it was nearly completed.   
  
_   "Did you really kiss Lauren Mallory?"  _ Alice's voice whisper-hissed in her ear and she stiffened to avoid jerking her colored pencil, instead setting it down firmly on the table and swiveling her head to look at Alice.   
  
        " _Cripes_ , what is with youse* all and scaring the Hell out of people all the time?"   
  
        Alice stared back at her, unblinking. "Kissing people like Lauren Mallory is how you end up with Mono and the wrong kind of reputation. Even if she did need to be knocked down a few pegs."   
  
        "Jus'... stop talking about it." Jael sighed, picking up her pencil again. Alice shrugged her shoulders a little, flipping gently through the random items in Jael's art folder. She'd already finished her still-life study, and was waiting to be given the next assignment by the teacher.   
  
        "What do you do with all your finished assignments?" She asked quietly, noting the only things in the folder were drills or unfinished pieces.   
  
        "They go in a special binder, in their own sleeves. I have one just for art. It's the black one. Jus' watch my camera." Jael murmured, tapping her satchel and inviting Alice to look. She didn't offer that to just anyone, but Alice had sort of become a friend of hers in these few months, they actually talked about art and sometimes paired up on projects in other classes that required artwork.   
  
        Alice took the binder out from the bag, hanging it gently back on the back of her chair before flipping through it. She stopped on the first portrait she'd done of Jasper and smiled a little, flipping through more and finding things Jael must have done in her free time, for fun. They were all pretty good. Really personal though, a lot of them a bit dark. "I still really love that portrait you did."   
  
        She knew which one Alice meant, the one she kept saying she should show Jasper, since it was of him. She'd spent longer than she normally worked on portraits, trying to finish it up and not letting him see the finished one. It was of him, so she didn't want to risk showing him and having him hate it, even if she knew in a general artist's definition, it was perfect. Speak of the devil, she could feel the eyes boring into the top of her head, as she had her face bowed towards her paper.  Jael did her best to ignore it, as he usually stopped after a while and went back to doing what he was doing, but he wasn't this time.   
  
        "Jesus... Jasper, what?" She lifted her head finally, that stubborn tail of hair dropping down the center of her face. "Why are you staring at me?"   
  
        Jasper's head tilted a little at her slightly aggressive response, she was so edgy today, it seemed. He was very sparing with it, easing up some of her tension. When her face visibly relaxed again, he leaned up from his seat and reached across the narrow table to push the fallen strand of hair back into her bangs where it belonged, tucking them behind her ear and exposing the scars speckling her brow and cheek bone. She could feel the shock of cold in his fingers as the pad of his thumb ghosted her cheek on the way.   
  
        "Your hair. It's nice like that." He told her, lowering back into his seat and withdrawing his hand slowly. "I almost didn't recognize you this morning."   
  
        "um.." Her eyes fluttered a little and she shook her head, banishing the slightly embarrassed fog that had settled in her brain.  "Yeah, about that- you missed the first two periods, what happened?" She tried hard not to sound like she had wondered too much, her finger idly skating over the edge of her cheek bone, feeling whispers of the cold on her skin still.   
  
        "Small emergency." Jasper replied, slumping in his seat comfortably, crossing his arms over his chest. He blinked, watching her face while giving her his rather vague but still specific answer. His eyes were a little dark today, like molten honey God, she wondered how someone's eyes could be so indecisive and still be so attractive. "I had to help Carlisle with some business."   
  
        "Oh."   
  
        One corner of his mouth tilted up. "Why, did you miss me?"   
  
        "No." She snorted and reached for her glasses, pushing them up onto her nose. Her bangs fell right back into the lens of her left eye. "Jus' curious is all... You missed some big project stuff. I could fill you in if you wanted, we're allowed to work in groups. I was gonna go to the public library just outside of town. If you can call it that, anyways..."   
  
        "That would be great, but I have a prior engagement." Jasper nodded towards Alice. "Alice can fill me in."   
  
        "Oh, yeah, sure. No problem." She hated that she sounded disappointed, even to her own ears.    
  
        "How about tomorrow?" He said, trying to make it up to her, it seemed. The words were out of his mouth before he could think it over. "I know it's break, but we could go to a better library, in Port Angeles."   
  
        "Yeah... That would be great!" Smiling, Jael ducked her head and went back to her picture. "I mean, yeah, cool, I shouldn't be doing anything right away anyways...."

* * *

        Jael stayed after everyone else left this time, helping to clean out paint brushes while she waited for Marina to come, knowing she said she would be running a few minutes late today. With the brushes cleaned, she finally went back to her desk and put her folder away. She noticed Jasper's was still out and so she went around and collected everything inside to a neat pile, tucking it back inside. On top, under a smaller paper that had his still life drill on it, was the pencil portrait he'd done at the start of their year.  
  
        She could have sworn Alice had dolled it out so that Jasper was doing a portrait of Alice, but that wasn't the face looking back at her. In fact, It was her face, except... Kind of not, because the face she was looking at was particularly stunning. Closing the folder carefully, she returned it to the proper cubby for their table and said goodbye to her teacher, going out front. The lot was empty, so she was able to see Marina pull up from the street. Once she'd been situated inside the car, she double checked the library address. "Hey, Marina, could you drop me off somewhere? I'll find another ride home after."  
  
        "Yeah, sure. Just tell me where!"  
  
        Marina took her to the library, and helped Jael back into her chair outside the truck. She leaned against the open door, hands in her jeans. "Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you? It looks pretty bad out, we might get rain."  
  
        "Yeah, I'll be ok. Thanks 'Rina." She waved a little to the woman as she got back into her truck and drove off, opening up the library door and heading inside. It was still pretty small, but she might be able to find some good books here. Since she now had plans to visit a better library, she didn't look for any work related books, and instead looked for a few new pleasure reads.  
  
        It was nearly empty, save for a couple older people at computers, and who she assumed were staff members.  
  
        "Looking for anything special?" A small redhead stood, looking down at her patiently. She looked a little tired, a light bruising under her inky eyes, but her full-lipped smile was friendly.  
  
        "Oh, no, not exactly. Just browsing." Jael smiled at her in return, before browsing the stacks at her leisure. She didn't know how long she spent looking, but since she'd left late, it was already late by the time she was done, and she heard the rain beginning to beat against the glass of the windows. Now cradling a stack of books in her lap of short stories and a gently worn edition of To Kill a Mocking Bird, she saw the library was empty. She thought she'd seen another staff member besides the redhead manning the counter, but saw no such person there when she came back to the front.  
  
        "Just these?" The woman asked with a little humor, scanning the codes and putting them in a plastic bag for protection, then looking pointedly down at her chair. "You have a ride home?"  
  
        "Oh, no, but I'm gonna call a cab."  
  
        "Let me lock up and I'll wait out front with you, alright? It's not safe for a girl to be out alone when it gets late, even the evening in a city can be bad in this weather."  
  
        "That's real nice of you, thanks." Jael walked out with the woman, and the two waited under the awning, watching the rain fall while she waited for the cab to come. They chatted a little while they waited. When her cab came, she started towards it. "Oh, thanks for waiting with me, though I never got your na-" Turning to look over her shoulder, the woman was gone. Her brow furrowed, and she looked around, wondering if maybe she'd just gone back inside.   
  
        Jael quickly loaded herself into the cab, collapsing her chair and dragging it inside even though the cabbie offered to help her. "Drive please. I'll give you the address--" There was an uncomfortable tension about the weird feeling she had, but with nothing really to explain why, she would just put it to the back of her mind. Right now she just wanted to get inside her house, where it was dry.  
  
        She made sure to tip the driver a little, letting him help her out this time, and getting into her house as fast as she could to minimize wetting herself or her book haul. Looking at the stack of books gave her the unsettling feeling all over again, so she brought them to the dining room table and scribbled a note to her mother, asking her to bring them back on her way to the airport, knowing she would be leaving again tomorrow anyways for another book publishing convention.  
  
        Getting the fireplace going, Jael stretched out on their worn in loveseat and basked in the warmth a little. She would just lay here a while to warm up and then head upstairs, she told herself, closing her eyes slowly. Just a few minutes...

* * *

*Youse is a slang term, like Cripes, to refer to multiples of people, just to clarify because often times when I use this, people call it a typo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIN :) Another chapter!
> 
> As always, thank you for sticking by me and continuing to read. It may seem a little Skippy at times, but that's because I'm trying to show development while moving time forward a little more because while I love the advantage of having a character before Bella comes back into the picture, most crucial events can only happen after Bella is in the picture, so I'm trying to set up everything to where I can slow down again a bit more  
> Much love, Jasperr


	7. 6. I CAUGHT MYSELF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every teen romance, even the ones involving Immortals, have a sudden "Oh Shit" moment. This chapter is definitely the start of that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't fully do what I originally planned with this chapter. But I was long overdue to update the damn thing. I am still pleased with it though, I think? I hope you guys who come to read still enjoyed it at least a little. I'm hoping one more speed-through chapter with some other significant little moments as well will get us through to 2005, where we can plan other things to come as we finally begin the official start of the twilight film and novel.  
> Much love to those of you who still stick with me, life has been crazy, I moved locations, and am trying to settle in. But I had time today, got inspired, and cranked out this monster for you.  
>  Much love,  
> Carrie

        What did she wear to go study with someone in Port Angeles? Why was she even stressing about that? The water in the shower turned icy suddenly, making her squeal and shut it off quickly. God dammit, she hadn't even been in that long, why were they already out of hot water? Sighing, Jael wrapped her dripping curls up into a towel and squirmed her way into her fluffy bathrobe while still in her shower seat. She was determined to work on her periods of prolonged standing, so she used the sink as support while she brushed her teeth today and applied her makeup. Black liner, black lip, a brown shadow. Then sat down for a few minutes, to rest, and then to wrap the snug Velcro-wrapped fabric around her torso. She had a soft brace now, to help with her posture. She'd never realized how accustomed she'd become to slouching until Carlisle brought it up to her. Still at a loss for what to wear, she went downstairs so she could make breakfast at least, finding her dad nursing his first cup of coffee and a bottle of cold medicine.  
  
        "Sick?" She asked, wheeling past him to get some juice from the fridge, pouring herself some and then popping some bread into the toaster.   
  
        "That's how it would appear, wouldn't it?" Jonathan groused from his spot at the dining table, running a hand through his unkempt hair. His accent came out thicker, lazy. Less distinguished Englishman and more cockney Brit.  
  
        "You're not sick." She said after a moment, her mouth tipping into a scowl as she watched him. "You're hungover and you probably didn't sleep." At least he had the common sense not to show up to work like that. The bread came up and she threw each piece on a separate napkin, dropping one in front of her father at the table and folding the other in half, cramming half of that into her mouth in one bite.  
  
        The bell rang and she garbled out a small string of unintelligible curses. Looking at the clock for the first time, she realized she'd spent way longer in the shower than she'd thought and it was a lot later than she'd thought.  
  
        "Fuck," She mumbled again, her mouth now clear. She bunched up the toast in her napkin and sailed it into the bin at the end of the counter. "Dad I'm not dressed will you get the door please?"  
  
"I'm not dressed either, love just--"  
  
"Dad!" Oh God, she wasn't even cute yet and her bath robe had Eeyore on it! She frantically wheeled back towards the stairs, careful to avoid the large windows that made up either side of the front door. It seemed like the chair lift wouldn't take her up fast enough, and she panicked a little when she heard the door open, climbing into her chair at the top of the stairs and sealing herself inside her room. Exhaling finally, Jael stayed in her chair while she stared at her closet. Maybe the grey sweater dress and leggings. Something loose and comfy... She had to deal with her hair still too, so a quicker alternative was better.  
  
Pushing up out of her chair after making sure the brake was locked, Jael dropped her robe and reached for the grey dress she'd had in mind.  
  
And then her door opened.  
  
"You are _Not_ wearing that floppy grey _thing_ to Port Angeles."  
  
The shock had startled her to say the least, and Jael lost her footing and fell on her ass. The fall jerked her spine a little, giving her an unpleasant shock of soreness for a moment, but nothing she couldn't handle. " _Alice."_ Jael hissed softly, hastily covered herself with her blue and purple Winnie The Pooh character themed robe. "What in the Holy Ghost are you doin' in here!?"  
  
"What in the Holy Ghost are you wearing?" The pixie haired woman questioned, shutting the door behind her and raising her thin brows.  
  
"Nothin' at the moment- Don' judge m' bathrobe." She muttered, feeling the painful blush spreading it's splotchy trail over her face and down her neck. "Or my sweater dress! It's comfy--" Her towel had fallen halfway off her head and she shook it down the rest of the way, blowing at a cluster of lose curl that fell into her eye. "Didn' dad tell you t' wait downstairs? I thought it was jus' going t' be Jasper, anyways."  
  
"Oh, it still is. But I have a present for you." She held up a little shopping bag with a label Jael didn't recognize on it. But it was the kind of flat-bottomed lacquered print bag that let her know it was clothing of some sort.  
  
"There was a sale," Alice went on, coming around the chair and taking Jael's hand to help her up. It didn't seem to bother her that Jael was naked and clearly bothered by Alice coming in, unannounced and uninvited, and she lifted her easily. Strangely enough, she wasn't mad though. Years in the past of sharing a room with her sister, and Alice's constantly cheery disposition made it really hard to be mad about it. "I got something in your size too."  
  
"I-- thank you?" She took the bag Alice handed to her, clutching her robe to the front of her body in her other hand. She let go of one of the handles, letting the bag opening spread out so that she could peer inside.  She could see a bundle of fabric in there, a coppery, autumn red. Pulling it out, she came up with  dress, and holding it up to the light of her lamp it had a little shimmer to it. It was pretty, not a fancy dress, but the layered, flowy looking kind that ran tight at the torso and loose around the shoulders and skirt. A fairy dress from a girl who looked like one.  
  
"Alice, it's really cute but I don't do dresses. Sitting in a chair all the time it just looks kind of... awkward."  
  
"You can still wear them and look beautiful sitting down. It's perfect weather for it! Humid enough to not be chilly despite the clouds. It's almost warm. Please try it on at least?"  
  
"I don't know--"  
  
"The longer you argue, the longer you'll keep Jas' waiting downstairs with your dad."  
  
Yeah... That wasn't a good idea.  
  
"Alright." Jael nodded slowly, the flush on her skin finally dying down. Alice stood, smiling her "Cat that ate the canary" smile she always wore when she got her way. Little shithead. Jael was convinced there was nothing she couldn't be talked into doing when it came to Alice. Minus the barging in without knowing, it was almost a pretty normal situation. Two friends, talking about boys and outfits.  
  
Except they weren't here to talk about boys, Jael hastily told herself in her head, feeling the flush come back. Raising her eyebrows, she stared at Alice who continued to wait expectantly. "Turn around at least?"  
  
"Oh." Alice blinked finally, and turned on her heel, rocking back and forth and humming patiently. With what privacy she could earn, Jael slid the dress over her head, the fabric stretching and then relaxing as it conformed back to her body and gathered just past her knees with it's slight puff. It looked a bit like a flower around the bottom.  
  
"Sit." Alice told her when she turned back around, sounding absolutely gleeful. Obediently, Jael sat, and Alice went around back behind her, beginning to section off her hair and before she knew it, Alice had loosely braided the thick curls off and wound them into a bun on her head, secured with a ribbon from her desk. A few loose curls framed the sides of her face, and her bangs dropped into her eye, but once her glasses were on, it kept them at bay enough to be out of the way.  
  
Jael looked in her closet mirror and sighed because she had to admit, it was a pretty dress. "Alright-- to be fair... it's not that bad."  
  
"I have shoes to match too." Jael didn't know where the woman had hid them, but suddenly Alice was holding a pretty pair of boots in the same color as the dress that ran a bit long, which would cover most of her exposed leg.  
  
"Alice." She chided softly, taking them anyways and putting them on after she'd found some socks to wear. "You don't need to go buying me stuff. Do you know how many clothes I have?"

"Do you  know how many _I_ have?" She countered, laughing her tinkling little laugh and Jael couldn't help but shake her head and smile.  
  
"I'll have to pay you back for this sometime-"  
  
"Nonsense. We're friends aren't we?" Alice patted her head, her chin resting briefly on her shoulder as she looked at their reflections. "Friends give each other presents."  
  
"Yeah, but I've given you nothing."  
  
"You will, in time." Alice responded, in that mysteriously all-knowing way she always managed. "Anyways, come on. Jas, your dad, downstairs."  
  
"Shit-Fuck you're right, we should get down there." Jael paled a little and rushed herself back to the top of the stairs. Soon enough, both women had come back down. It seemed her father had migrated to the couch, and while Jasper was also in the living room, he seemed to be standing as far on the edge as he possibly could, lingering stiffly in the hall that the front door marked the start of. The cusp of carpet and hardwood floor. Neither were looking at each other, but there wasn't anything else to draw their eye, like the TV or other conversation or something. Just awkward silence.  
  
Jesus...  
  
"Alright--" Jael said finally, once she'd slid into her wheelchair. "Um, we can go now. Dad- Coffee. Aspirin. Sleep. I'll be back late." She snagged the open cuff of the button down Jasper wore, pulling him out after her as Alice opened up the door. She locked it behind her, knowing that Jonathan wasn't likely to go any further than upstairs. Her head was bowed while she stuffed her keys back into her satchel that had the notebooks and things she'd need, a little embarrassed. "I appreciate the gift, Alice but if you wouldn't mind, next time jus' text me and say you're early..." She looked up again, coming to stop in front of a car. It was shiny, and black, and sleek. Not that she knew what kind of car it was. Cars weren't her thing. Bikes, yes. Other vehicles? No. She couldn't remember ever seeing it either?  
  
"Is this your car?" Jael asked slowly, pointing to it and Alice shook her head.  
  
"No, we don't really have a need for another one right now. Carlisle let's us use his because he loves me and Jasper's too much of a heathen to give up his motor cycle."

  
"There's nothin' Heathenistic about Motor bikes, Alice."  
  
"Says you- Cars are better, they're sleek, pretty, they go just as fast and you can go shopping in them."  
  
"Says you." Jael countered back. "Bikes are sex appeal and artistry all up in one compact package. They're sleeker, prettier, and empowering. They don't do the work for you, so you need way more control. And to me, that makes them more superior. There's all kinds of things that seem similar to cars, but Bikes are unique." She coasted up to the back door, opening it up so she could get inside.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Um... Getting in?" Her brows arched up. "What do you think I'm doing, Alice? The back is where I can pull my chair in after me and I assume you rode shotgun."  
  
"I did, but I'm going to go shopping with Rosalie now." She pointed a gloved finger a little deeper down the dirt driveway, where Rosalie's shiny red convertible sat idly as impatiently as she looked to be, sitting there. "So it's all covered! Jas' can help you out. Have fun at the library." Alice kissed her cheek and Jasper's, skipping off, and Leaving Jael looking a little bewildered. She watched Alice prance her way over to Rosalie-- And it was a prance, quite honestly, the way her feet seemed to dance when she moved.-- and made the mistake of meeting the blonde's frosty eyes. Her mouth set into a deeper frown than it already was, soft brow dipping downward to form a deep line on her forehead.  
  
Fuck, Rosalie hated her...  
  
Faintly, she heard Jasper chuckle and so she looked at him, watching him scrub a hand through his hair and then rub at the back of his neck. "That's Alice for you..."  
  
"I'm trying so hard to be mad at her for barging in while I was in the buff but it's kind of-- impossible." Jael laughed a little, though it died out at Jasper's own brows arching up. "Never mind." She mumbled quickly, rolling around to the passenger side of the car. Trailing after her, Jasper opened the door for her and she was able to climb in after a little thinking. She wasn't used to climbing into a car that was more comfortably situated near the ground, and while it was a spacious, sporty car, it was a bit smaller built than Marina's old truck.  
  
"I'll put this in the trunk." Jasper told her, folding the chair up with care and going to the back to stow it. Jael mumbled out a thanks as she situated herself comfortably in the passenger seat, trying not to look stiff. She was used to Marina's truck by now, but this wasn't Marina's truck. Still, it was a cozy car, nice as it was. And it smelled like Carlisle. He had some nice cologne, she had to say. That would have to be her familiarity then. That and Jasper, she supposed. They were friends, or maybe common acquaintances through Alice. It seemed like he talked with her more now, at least. And he was willingly inviting her somewhere without Alice.  
  
She tucked an earbud into one of her ears and put her Ipod on shuffle. The Cure came on and she tipped her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes while he came back around to the driver's side and got himself situated.  
  
"Thanks for agreeing to meet me." He watched the red convertible pull around them and speed off before he pulled out of the dirt driveway and out onto the road.   
  
"Not like it's a big deal. Did you expect me to say--!" There was a brief moment where Jael's voice pitched up, when the car first pulled into motion. That starting jerk of a car that liked to go fast, even when driving at a slow pace. "To say 'no'?" She finished, relaxing and letting go of the grip she'd taken of her door handle. There would be no hiding the embarrassing way her words had hiccupped, she always did this, the first time in a new car. Just don't comment on it. Don't say anything, just keep driving...  
  
"Not exactly, but maybe, a little." Jasper replied, continuing to drive. He heard the slow exhale as she settled back into her seat, listened to her heartrate calm again when he turned off the dirt road and onto the regularly paved one. He drove slower than he would have, had he been the only one in the car. "There aren't exactly many places to go within Forks, and Port Angeles is far enough of a drive that I wondered if you'd be comfortable with just me." Of course, that wasn't really true. If anything, she'd inevitably be _More_ comfortable, considering his gift. The question had really been more about whether or not he could handle it. The offer itself had been out of his mouth before he could consider the perils. He'd figured because he was used to talking to her, that it had come out as easily as small-talk. After some consideration Jasper had decided he actually _wanted_ to go.  
  
He'd expected his family to have some words on the matter. Rosalie did, of course, upon finding out. But everyone else was surprisingly indifferent. Apparently they had more faith in him than he put in himself. He looked at it as a small milestone to overcome. He had to acclimate at some point if he wanted to stay with them and be able to actually leave the house.  
  
For a vampire, he'd always been restless. Not in the sense of feeling a need to pace, but feeling lost. Jasper had the freedom to roam now, but with the Cullens and Hales making up a single coven that he was allowed to be part of, he dared to say he felt content.  
  
He realized she'd said something in response to what he'd told her, but that he hadn't heard it. Strangely unobservant of him, but he tended to be "strangely" a lot of things around Jael. It was beginning to unnerve him. Just a little. "I'm sorry?"  
  
"I said I don't know why you'd say that. You're probably one of the least intimidating out of all your siblings."  
  
Despite himself, Jasper's mouth twisted up into a bit of a crooked smirk. "I don't know why you'd say _that._ " It was certainly a new one for him, one that surprised him a little. Most people thought he was unsettling. Or that he was on drugs, one of the other latest rumors. He didn't understand how such crazy rumors started in such a small town. He supposed the constant tension in his face at school was to blame, and Alice's latest man-handling of his hair that made it stick up at all odds and ends. He was aware of it more now, not that he could fully help it. He had a long ways to go... But least intimidating? "Please tell me you don't put me below Alice."  
  
"Oh, definitely below Alice. But above Carlisle."

Carlisle, the most outwardly docile member of their family.  
  
"You're kidding me?" He damn near sounded indignant. "How am I below Alice?"  
  
"You're just-- I don't know. You're kind of blunt, sure, but you're honest and generally kind of calm and I don't _have_ to try and think of things to say when talking to you which is a game changer for my comfort level. Besides, you clearly underestimate how scary she is as a fairy-like woman who has everyone wrapped around her pinky finger. That almost makes her scarier than Emmett in terms of who I find intimidatin'. You sound really indignant." Jael pointed out, unable to hide the fact that she was grinning a little.  
  
"Most people think the opposite of me. And I most certainly am not--" He snorted, sounding even more-so.  
  
"Ooh, offensive."   
  
His eyes slanted at her, to glare, but then a noise came out of her mouth. It was a laugh, but the sharp bark of laughter was nothing more of a choked off squeal, with her fingers pressed carefully to her made up lips and muffling most of it. Like she hadn't meant for it to escape in the first place.  
  
The glare vanished before it could start, instead his brows drawing together in a sort of confused puppy expression that made her squeal peel off into a loud and drawn out snorting noise.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I finally know what your faces always remind me of. You look like a dog. I always thought Alice's lil' shit-eatin' grin reminded me of a cat. You're a dog. A puppy-" She corrected, snorting harder. Her cheeks flooded with more blotchy blushing from her lack of air and the laughter, and Jasper couldn't even be upset about the puppy comment while he turned off the highway and hit their first stoplight.  
  
It was kind of cute.  
  
… what?

  
The thought startled him more than it should have, and he was sure from the sudden tightness in his face that if he'd had any blood, it would have rushed to it.  
  
Jasper wasn't someone who was usually caught off by his thoughts. Especially not something so.... Adolescent. Like thinking something a girl-- a _human girl_ ,-- had done was cute.  
  
His fingers tightened around the wheel briefly, and he waited a fraction longer to start driving again when the light changed. The sudden drop in conversation went unnoticed, and they drove in comfortable quiet, to be left to their own thoughts.  
  
Jael snuck glances at him a lot. It wasn't new to her anymore to think he was _pretty._ To think any of the cullens were pretty, or the Hale's, was pretty normal to most people. She liked looking at them though, they were all statuesque, abnormally perfect. The pale didn't stand out to her really, even though most people in Forks were still a little less pale than they were. Being a redhead, she knew what it was like to generally have a tone comparable to paper if she didn't get any sun. But none of the family had any distinguishing features marring their skin like freckles, or acne, or a scar from some form of fight or sport, they seemed like athletes.  
  
Jasper looked older though. Like a college student maybe, not a high school kid. It was all in his bone structure, she was sure of it. He had a prominent nose and chin, and softer jaw and cheeks. It was a sturdy face, for a sturdy body. Thin, and lean, and sleek, but broad somehow too. His shoulder span, how large his long fingers looked on the steering wheel. It was similar for her mother, the proud, sturdy bone structure. Her mother came from a heavily Italian-blooded family line, and her good genes and great bones always made her look young for an older woman, but had made her look older in her younger years. It was so unfair. Jael had a baby face, she called it so, anyways. She was round, and soft, and petite. Even if her muscle tone was building up more and more every day, her face was always this round and squishy sort of oval. She was convinced she had some proud cheekbones, buries somewhere in her soft cheeks, but so far she'd never been able to discover them.  
  
She'd been staring at him long enough this time that she hadn't realized the car had stopped, or that Jasper had pulled the key out of the ignition. Not until he'd unbuckled and then paused halfway to opening the door to look at her curiously, when Jael hadn't moved an inch.  
  
Her eyes locked back to his face, back on the butterscotch colored irises and bit the inside of her cheek hard, giving her head a little shake to drop her bangs over her lens and the side of her face so she could unbuckle and pop her door open without him seeing the redness in her face.  
  
She'd situated herself sideways by the time Jasper had brought her chair back to the passenger side, unfolding it carefully and setting the break. The car was a little lower, which meant getting out would be a little different, and she seemed to be puzzling this when he hesitantly spoke up.  
  
"I could lift you out, if that helps. Would that- is that rude?" This kind of hesitancy, she was familiar with. The "I'm not used to being around girls in wheelchairs" kind of hesitancy. His hands were still on the back handles of the chair, indecisively rolling it next to the car at a bit of an angle. "Obviously you get in and out of cars on your own-- that was stupid of me to ask."  
  
"No, it's ok, I'm actually not used to low down ones like this." She smiled, just a little. "It's kind of awkward I think still, for me to get up and down... I think a hand might be helpful. Oh, flip the break first-" Jael told him, pointing to the wheel break before he could reach for her. Jasper hit it with his foot, and with the same hesitance as before bent down into the open doorway.  
  
"Under the legs?"  
  
"Um, normally I'd say just grab my arms, but I think that would be fine-" She lifted her own arms, so that she could touch his shoulders, and letting him put his hand under her legs. His fingers touched her thigh and she squeaked a little. Instantly, he jerked back, head lifting away as he straightened and thunking against the top of the car's door jam. It didn't hurt him, but he took the excuse that it _should have_ to straighten completely and take a step back.  
  
"Fuck, I'm sorry-" Jael said, completely apologetic, and blushing again. "Your hands were really cold-- startled me. You ok?"  
  
"Yes, sorry. I'm always cold." He mumbled, ducking back into the doorway slowly. She thought she heard him suck in a little, like he was holding his breath, but didn't have any time to process that random thought before he lifted her out like she weight nothing, and set her back into her chair. He made sure she was out of the way of the door before he shut it, but didn't touch her chair after. Something she appreciated as she wheeled up the cement ramp. Jael realized he'd parked in the first non-handicapped space available in the lot, trying to get her as close to a ramp as he could for her to get up onto the sidewalk on her own. The fact that he'd paid attention to something people could so easily forget was sweet. Most people would tell her that was just common manners and sense if she'd said it out loud, but most people wouldn't have remembered in the moment that curbs weren't her friend.  
  
Jasper's lengthy gait only lasted up onto the sidewalk, slowing more leisurely to follow next to her as they headed towards the library. "Sorry it's a little ways. Port Angeles is a lot of street-side parking. I didn't like the idea..." He sort of trailed off after, silently wondering if it was offensive to assume and waiting to see if she said anything about it. She merely shrugged, smiling a little. "I appreciate it, Jasper. It was nice of you to think about it. I don't mind a bit of a walk, so to speak."  
  
After a bit of silence, and after they'd crossed over to another street, she spoke up again. "How's your head?"  
  
"Hm? Oh. It's fine. It didn't really hurt." Jasper rubbed the top of his head for show anyways, returning his hand back to his pocket. Alice had been right about it being a little humid today, she felt the baby hairs on the back of her neck sticking to her skin and wondered how Jasper was wearing an over-shirt and the nice, heavy denim jeans he had on. Eventually, they did reach the actual library, after passing a bookstore that definitely didn't give off the vibes of the kinds of books they were looking for. It was still a pretty small one, but it was better stocked than the one Jael had visited in Forks and had a nice collection of chairs to sit in.  
  
They were able to find a singular chair set by a high enough oak table that had enough space for the both of them, where they were able to work on the assignment he had missed. It didn't take long to be caught up though, which lead to them talking a  little about the subject of books. First reading list books, and then ones off of it. Jasper seemed to be uncomfortable after a while. Not that he squirmed or anything, but his face did have a little of the tension back in it that she usually saw at school. Still, whenever it was his turn to say something to contribute to their conversation, his expression would shift and warm up a little again. The conversation was back to flowing easily for them, and she was amazed by how much both of them could talk together.  
  
"... And then I was so mad when I finally finished it. I couldn't believe that it was the ending. I had so many more questions than when I started!" Jael's nose wrinkled up, her distaste evident about _An Imperial Affliction_ *, which clearly puzzled Jasper, though he found her distaste as humorous as it was puzzling.  
  
"I don't understand how you could be so vehement over a _fictional_ book inside a book." He told her, setting his pencil down on his neat stack of work papers to free that same hand so he could thumb aimlessly through the pages of _an H.P. Lovecraft_ book Jael had insisted he pull down from a top shelf for her. His eyes were quick and keen enough to see some of the grotesque horror sketches scattered throughout the novel before he set it down again, his mouth quirking into that polite almost-but-not-quite smile. "You don't even really get to read it, because it doesn't exist. You're second-hand infuriated."  
  
"But you can!" Jael's voice shot up a little, making the old woman at the nearby desk shoot them a dirty look. Edging her wheelchair closer to him and leaning in to whisper, almost conspiratorially. "It's been long enough that people have pieced what you get in the book itself together and created, like, a short little story. You get to read all about Anna and the Dutch Tulip man and it's not even second-hand infuriation, it's first hand frustration."  
  
"You're absolutely absurd." Jasper told her, though not in any kind of condescending way, grinning and exposing that neat row of ultra-white teeth. Jael flushed and picked at her bun, which had become to come loose now that her hair had fully dried and expanded.  
  
"That was maybe rude of me," He cut in, noting the hot flash of embarrassment that had stabbed through the excitement that had been bubbling into her voice. "Apologies."  
  
A little of the heat dulled from her face, at the way 'Apologies' lilted out of his mouth, filtering to a different part of her body. The low murmur, the laziness of most of the vows. Attractively southern, and she'd been hearing it in fragments for the better part of a couple hours now. Who would have guessed she'd end up with a cowboy fixation.  
  
The absurdity of the way she'd put that thought into words made her giggle just a little again, though the minute it registered in her ears she tucked her chin down a little and pressed her lips together, her pointed thumbnail rubbing lightly over the small hollow under her bottom lip.  
  
"Why do you do that?" Jasper persisted curiously, putting his thoughts to words before he could think. Amazing how often that happened, with how fast his brain registered things, more perplexed by the way he couldn't feel her again for a moment. Like a door had slammed shut. Slowly, the feeling returned again though, the door creaking back open as she pulled down her braid and began to fiddle with her hair, loosening the strands with careful fingers.  
  
"Why do I do what?" She asked in return, her voice back to it's cheerful but composed default, her lips frowning questioningly and tugging the little scar at her lip taut.   
  
"Shut down when you do anything remotely human." He swallowed, a bit of her scent wafting back over to him as she fluffed the unruly curls back into the freedom of their natural state. While the proper color was something that would remind most people of a carrot, he thought of citrine. The glassy, copper-fire colored gem, with little flecks of the gold it looked when it caught the light.  
  
"It's a defense mechanism, I guess." Jael told him, after some careful consideration and thought that messing with her hair had brought her. Her center curl dropped behind the center nose piece of her lens frame, making her scrunch her nose a little to the itch she was only half conscious of. Jasper's fingers twitched, itching to reach forward and push it back. He laced his hands together on top of the arm of the chair instead, twisting a little band of gold around his first finger.  
  
Jael fixated her eyes on that, catching the ruby inlaid in the center of one part of the band. Roughly cut, but large, and pristine. Somehow she hadn't noticed it the whole time she'd been with him. She kept talking, when he didn't say anything right away. "I don't know, a lot of times being really open has gotten the wrong kind of attention at the wrong time. Maybe it's jus' the hand I got dealt or something making me feel bitter, but I feel... weird, if I don't. It's just better. To have a lock on it. When I slip up, I feel like I'm not in control." Her heart ruled stronger than her mind, a lot of the time. It made her impulsive, moody. Sensitive, sure. But it made her feel so...  
  
"You feel alien." Jasper spoke up, startling her, because he'd managed to complete her train of thought, like he knew exactly what she was thinking. Obviously he didn't though, so she blinked a few times and cleared her throat softly. "Huh?"

  
"Sorry." He murmured, is fingers stilling over the ring. "I guess I spoke out loud while thinking... It makes you feel a little Alien. Like you're not human."  
  
"Yeah, something like that. I know all the habits, the ticks and taps that make me seem normal. But I don't... feel normal. And if I lose control for even a second, it could be disastrous." She smiled wryly, shrugging, more out of habit than anything else. "I'm just that weird I guess."  
  
"I wouldn't call you weird. Empathetic, maybe." For some reason he sounded like he found it a little funny, but the humor was gone so quick Jael wasn't sure she'd actually heard it. She fell quiet again, still sheepish, and finally tuning back into the music she'd never paused on her iPod, coming through the one earbud she had in.  
 _Do you see what we've done? We've gone and made such fools of ourselves..._

 _Do you see what we've done? We've gone and made such fools of our...selves._  
  
Paramore. She smiled a little, pulling the iPod out briefly to change to an album of Paramore songs she had. She glanced back at Jasper, realizing he was for a moment, a lot closer all of a sudden.  
  
"What are you listening to?" He asked, his head tilting to the side just enough to remind her of a puppy. He could hear it of course, but he didn't know the name off the top of his head. And when you didn't sleep, you had a lot of time to listen to pretty much any kind of music you could think of. Usually that was left to Edward, and his obnoxiously loud stereo system, but Alice had gotten Jasper a nice set of headphones on the last celebration of his approximate birthday and he had his own little collection going.

Her cheeks still flared a little. Damn her pale ass and her abominable, uneven flush. His eyes flicked lower down her face for a moment, and then he leaned back just a fraction, where she couldn't smell whatever moan-worthy cologne he was wearing. Why did boys have to smell so good? It wasn't fair. Girls never smelled nearly as good. They had their floral shit or whatever, but this was something different, vastly different, and all too appealing. Like allspice, and clove...  
  
Jael realized she still hadn't answered him and she bit her lip, shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts. "Paramore."  
  
"I'm not sure I've heard it."  
  
"Not surprising. People have really developed a stigma about certain genres of music lately and avoid anything that's grouped into the labels of emo or angry girl music."  
  
Jasper's mouth quirked a little. God damn, he had to stop doing that. And God Damn her for letting it bother her. God Damn! "So, which one is this? Angry girl?"  
  
"Both, actually. But it's way better than it sounds when you say that... Do you want to listen?" Her voice was oddly small, considering all they were talking about was sharing earbuds and listening to the song playing on her iPod at the moment. Nothing overly complicated. But a music collection was sort of intimate, to Jael anyways.

When Jasper nodded, Jael moved to tuck the ear bud into his ear, since they were close enough as it was, heads close together, bodies angled towards each other. They'd been creeping closer and closer to this point all morning. But Jasper had reached to take it from her as well, so when she tucked it into his ear, his fingers brushed along her hand again. His skin was still like ice, but for some reason it shocked her and she left her hand where it was.

Jael swallowed hard. "Um." She said. It was all she said. The music played in both their ears in their prolonged silence. They were staring at each other. Mismatched hazel, pin-prick pupils. Eyes that, in the dimmer library lighting, looked to be an inky brown, as opposed to the deep, molten butterscotch she'd ogled at yesterday, focused and alert.

 _You got it, you got it  
Some kind of magic  
Hypnotic, hypnotic  
You're leaving me breathless_  
  
A bit of a nail in the coffin, she thought uncomfortably. She should move her hand, she told herself. And stop staring. She remembered to exhale slowly, at last, but didn't otherwise budge.  
  
She watched his eyes dilate as she did this, saw a muscle in that perfectly sculpted jaw twitch, and then relax again after an equally long moment.  
"Um." He echoed. It was all he said, rather inarticulate for him, when he made a point to talk.  
 __Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself  
From saying something that I should have never thought of you, of you...  
There was an old clock in the library that chimed the next hour. Jasper finally blinked, and drew in a small breath, though Jael didn't hear him exhale.  
  
He was definitely going to Hell for this, and he wasn't sure he wouldn't be dragging a few people down with him...  
  
Jael finally released her gentle hold on the other earbud, dropping her hand back to her lap. He leaned away a little, letting it fall out of his ear and she took to winding both earbuds carefully back around the small device.  
  
"Um..." She cleared her throat, opened her mouth to try and form an actual sentence again, to distract from the fact that she'd been, for a long moment... what? Dazzled?  
  
Dazzled. Unquestionably, irrevocably, utterly dazzled. "We should check some of these books out, probably." She said, glancing at the clock that had chimed to find that it was much later, shocking her completely. She looked out towards the windows, and the hazy gloom of Port Angeles was much darker than it had been. They'd been here for hours, and it was now early evening.  
  
Then her stomach growled, rather aggressively. She heard Jasper exhale suddenly, with a small bark of laughter. "We should, and then I should get you fed and home..." There was a little roughness in his voice that hadn't been there before, Jael noticed.

Her face still flushed, brilliantly and unevenly, but she laughed too. "Yeah... Ok."  
  
"Ok." Jasper echoed, though he didn't move forward to get up. In fact, for the moment he slouched back and remained in his seat.  
  
"Ok." She breathed, stacking the small collection of books they had in her lap and cradling them carefully, because it gave her something to do. She bit her lip.  
  
One corner of his mouth quirked. God Damn. "Ok." He said, leaning forward to rise from his seat.  
  
She was going to end up in Hell for this. She was somehow convinced of that, thoroughly, and she was pretty sure she'd take someone else down with her.  
  
Eventually back in Carlisle's car, Jael put one of her earbuds back in, and restarted the last Paramore song that had played.

* * *

  
*An Imperial Affliction is a fictional, fiction novel in _The Fault in Our Stars. It doesn't actually exist sand is written by a fictional author, but apparently was quite the read! I figured with so many analogies (Or literal notes)_ _about death within the series, and life, and sickness, and health, that a pull from a_ _novel like that seemed well-suited._

* * *

 


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